A few reviews

[ShaneTalbert.com]

Like many, I have been popping in on occasion to the massageplanet.net website. I have picked up a few pointers along the way, and I have decided, for what it's worth, to make a contribution of my own. But before I give my reviews, I am obliged to tell you all exactly where it is I am coming from, and I apologize in advance if some of you consider this report somewhat long-winded.

1. For me, the MASSAGE is the thing. While I have no problem with the myriad of establishments that offer adult entertainment along with what is, I suspect, on average, a mediocre massage, and forking over a serious chunk of change ($100 and more for half an hour), I personally prefer to spend that same $100 (including tip) to be pressed, kneaded and rubbed into heavenly bliss for a full hour. Thus, my report will emphasize the quality of the massage.

2. Almost as important as the massage itself is cleanliness. Walking into an establishment where the furniture looks like it was bought at a garage sale, or where the linen is threadbare and of a questionable shade of gray is a turn-off.

3. Next on my list of important aspects is attitude. I'll take a welcoming smile on an average-looking lady over a grumpy looking centerfold any day. I like to be asked whether or not I prefer a hard massage, or whether I prefer oil or not.

4. Ambience is important to me. A nicely decorated room beats the hell out of gulag-like 10 by 12 containing nothing more than a make-shift massage table and a bottle of baby oil. A little background music is welcomed, and for myself, I enjoy the scented oils.

5. Looks are not too important to me, but I do have my limits. It is a very subjective topic, and I will mention looks only if I think it appropriate. That said, if no comment is made, you can assume that the attendants are slim and attractive.

6. Unless you have been living in a cave, each of you is aware of the often-discussed RELEASE. I think it is another one of those subjective areas, and I will not get into the topic. I will, however, emphasize, that no EXTRAS were asked for and none were offered.

7. Lastly, I like my session to be just that - MY session. I detest interruptions. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? The knocks on the door, the telephone rings, the washing machine stops and the dryer needs starting - all very annoying. Some places have a receptionist, but most do not. I appreciate the fact that a missed phone call may be lost business, but I believe that more business is lost through aggravated customers than anything else.

As I rarely get to the outskirts of the GTA, my reviews are generally limited to operations in the downtown and central parts of Toronto.

Because of the size of this review, it is in four parts.

So here goes - the good, the bad and the ugly.