A foot massage on a second date? Is he moving too fast?

[sixxy]

I knew this guy online and we went out for a first date last Monday, it was great. We talked in a bar for 2 and a half hours and walked to metro station holding hands. He gave a quick goodbye kiss--I could feel a bit of his tongue but I didn't want to go that far so I kept my lips closed. We kept contacting each other since the date. He got a bad cold from last Thursday and didn't go to work on Friday, he let me know that a second date had to be postponed to which I fully understood.

The problem here is: the guy seems quite "physical" when we talked on msn before we met, such as asking my "bedroom habit" although he didn't mention a word when we met (he looked a bit nervous and shy). And he was pretty honest when we talked about our opinions on pre-marriage sex (I told him I'm a virgin while he said he "got it over with" during a holiday when he was 18 and never looked back). I think it's pretty clear that I'm not an "easy girl" while he is not committing on anything soon. But we still wanted to meet each other and I'd say we are interested in each other.

He mentioned that he gave the best foot massage before our first date and he brought it up again the night he told me he's sick. I was joking that I wouldn't get off my shoes in public and he said that's surely in private. I guess he will offer a foot massage on the second date, and by "in private" he meant in my dorm room.

I'm not sure if I should invite him to my dorm room. I'm not against foot massage/intimacy on a certain level but I don't want to lead him on by inviting him to my room. Should I see him in somewhere public that I can put my shoes off (so I'd see if foot massage is all he has in mind)? Or is it actually ok/common to invite him to my dorm if I make my boundary clear? Please give some comments, thanks a lot!

 

[David]

you can invite him, but if you are concerned, explain your concerns as part of the invitation. He'll probably say he understands, and proceed.

By the way, I think you should feel appreciative about his offer; it is very nice of him.

 

[Tyler M]

I would go with a more public area first. You could clearly mark your boundaries, but dorm rooms are notorious for having one major piece of furniture, the bed. You would likely receive the massage on your bed, and your boundaries might not have the strength to hold him off in the position (no pun intended).