Best/Worst nightclubs in the world

[not a top con & proud]

Thought I'd start this thread to get an insight to the world's nightclubs as I'm sure many BM's have experiences worldwide on this subject

Here's mine anyway.....

Working in Nigeria at the time me & the mechy engineer were being sent down into the swamps to have a look at some kit, well we got there done the job but had to spend the night, so as you do we asked the Romanian operator
where we could get a beer...no problem I'll meet you after dinner/shower and show you.
OK we meet up and proceed to leave the camp, keep in mind this camp looks like Stalag 15 armed police and loads of barbed wire.
Any we have to cross a creek and the boards were half rotted through, so it was treading gingerly, we got to the village which was made up of mud and straw thatched roof huts and went to the only one made of corrugated iron, rich man.

The "club" consisted of a filthy plastic table with matching chairs, the owner making a fuss of us instantly screwed a 60 watt bulb in above our table, so it was tepid Nigerian beer on the menu or jack sh*t, when in Rome...
After a few beers I got the feeling I was being watched and turned around and could only see about 200 sets of eyes & teeth, the village had turned out to watch us.
Well around 10pm the owner decided to crank things up by swapping the white bulb for a red one and decided to play some funky muzak, it was none other than a tape of some bloke impersonating Elton John with "Candle In the Wind" but at half speed as the batteries on his tape recorder were waning.

11pm the owner went into pimp mode, well he proceeded to bring out these young ladies and offer each to us....now I certainly have nothing against coloured people I just refuse to sleep with Don King lookalikes...


We made our excuses and seforum.xxxgered home...would I go back ? in a minute great entertaining night out

 

[Lucy H]

That's funny!!! How extensive was the happy hour menu? Sometimes a dive bar hits home more than the most celibrated slammin' club. The pussy must have been rancid though. Nice call on abstaining.

 

[Woody]

great thread, you and sir burr are great additions:

best: i like to think ive traveled to a good amount of places around the world. i think the best scene i have ever seen was The El San Juan, Wyndham casino in San Juan, Puerto Rico. it is a hotel/casino. all you have to do is walk in the lobby, not even go inot the clubs and bars connected to the lobby. all you have to do is get an el presidente(beer) at one of the three hotel lobby bars and hang out. it is a great scene of beautiful puerto rican girls, not like the ones in nyc, and beautiful people.

worst: i was on a cruise with my friend and we stopped in cozumel, mexico. its one of those touristy ports that cruises stop at, with bars like carlos n' charlies that that teenage girl went missing at. anyways, we were with these two bluebood brohers from connecticut that we met. me being the trouble-maker of the gropu, as soon as we get in a taxi, i say "take us to the chicas". the driver drives us about 30 minutes out of the main area and we end up at this mexican bordello that was one of the most dangerous lookin gplaces i have ever seen. we sit down with mosquitos and flys swarming all around, get served 4 warm beers and are told, pretty strenly, i might add,"pick what girl you want". i swear i could rwad the connecticut kids' monds and it had something to do with wishing they never met me. anyways, we squirmed our way out of there, but i will be honest, i get myself into all thses type of crazy situtaions all my life, but i didnt know if i was walking away from this one!

 

[you love to hate me]

pretty funny Marc26. I had a friend who had the exact same experience there in Cozumel. Was having a great time with some friends, drinking heavily, and then jumped in a taxi and said the same thing to the driver and got taken to the same place and then had the same reaction to it. Thankfully he made the mistake before I had gone down there in the last 10 years so he was able to warn me.

 

[canaan90]

the best nightclub i´ve ever been to, is the CC-club in london/great britain.

it´s located in the boarder area of SoHo.

you can check it out on

www.cc-club.co.uk

greets

hfh

 

[Reslee]

Good topic. Here's a bad one...

Years ago, I went to Miami for a few days work. I had one night to myself and went out for a wander around. No idea where I was exactly, or where to go. Went into this hotel lobby, really just looking for a beer. Saw a doorway saying the Somethingorother Club and stuck my head in the door. It was a massive place, the size of a barn, and totally empty - just three or four bar staff hanging around the counter, chatting. It wasn't at all inviting and I was about to duck out again but they spotted me and dragged me in. I said OK, bought a bottle of beer, and sat down.

Now that they had one customer, they flicked the switches and all hell let loose. The light show, the flashing John Travolta-style floor, the dry ice, the mirror balls and, most of all, disco music that was so loud it made the fillings in your teeth rattle.

I drank my beer, smoked a cigarette and got up to go. At the very moment that I crossed the threshold, they switched it all off and empty silence reigned again. Surreal.

 

[BlueBelle]

That's a funny one Paddy.

I think the best nightclubs are the ones where the girls outnumber or at least are equal to the amount guys. The ones in Patong might not have the most style or sophistication but they have the girls!

I've been to some clubs in the states where there are 20 guys to one girl (yes it was a straight club)

Cheers!

 

[A teen talking here]

The best Club that I have been to so far is the V.I.P in Ayia Napa, Cyprys. It was crazy party there every night! :cheers:

 

[Aroused]

My favorite, is not a club, but more a local pub, or atleast it was till it was sold and the new owners messed it up big time.

Cute bar girls, ice cold beer, comfy bar stools. It was always good for a night out, the girls knew what you wanted so there was always a full beer infront of you all the time, being a regular meant you almost had the run of the place and could get away with anything you wanted. Just a good place to kick back and have a couple of ales.

 

[Gazz B]

another quite good club/nightclub is located in inverness (north of loch ness in scotland) and it is called "coyoty ugly bar" - quite a nice place for people under 25 - others might think "what the hell is going on here..."

hfh

 

[Stroker Ace]

... well it´s not a Night Club really but it´s a nice place to have a Sangsom/Coke and look at the chicks .. i think it was called MTB in Patong


ps. Free drinks now Nicke ?? 55555

 

[73777]

Friday night is ladies night at.....LAAAAAAGUUUUUUNNNDA!

Ever in West Africa, take a trip up to Freetown, Sierra Leone and head to Lagunda on a Friday night. Was 500 Leone to get in (About 75 of your English Pence) A Gazillion, HIV infected, good looking girls wearing thier Sunday best waiting for some mug to cough up the 500L cover for them and spin for a few drinks. That'll be me then.........You, You, You and bring your sister etc! Brilliant.

Fantastic, live West African music interspaced with as modern a CD track that has found it's way to West Africa (or been stolen from some mugs hotel room) on the decks. Dance the night away between two amazonian warrior women who smell of cheap gin, feeling the hand of one of them slapping the others away from your hard on down yer under trollies. Brilliant!

Seforum.xxxger out as the sun is just coming up over the horizon and into 'SilverWings' beach bar and restaurant for breakfast and watch the newest barman trying to start the generator and then watch in amazement as..........he flies past you landing in a smoking heap on your table, still shaking from the 75,000 amps he just drilled through his chest. Oh, those were the days.

Rent a room for about two of your American dollars at the back of the house and take your entourage of fine fillies from Lagunda for a morning of passion on the lice infested mattress as the generator dies taking the only fan in the establishment (an extra!!) with it. What the hell, bag up and get on with it.

A post-coital swim in a flat, warm Atlantic with your new friends and have a pan fried barracuda steak thrown on the charcoal, followed by a few 'star' beers. Heaven.

PS Don't try to open your 'Star' beer with your nipple piercing, it hurt like hell and bled alot! Girls loved it though!!

If you are in a different neck of the woods, Try:
Green Street in Pusan, South Korea! (Got to love those themed knocking shops! Bride, secretary, air hostess etc)
Gaberone Sun - Botswana (They will find you - keep gambling!)
Apocalypse Now - District One, HCM City, Vietnam (Genuine sandbags!)
Al Rasheed Hotel - Baghdad, Iraq (Thumpin' - "Does my bomb look big in this?")
Champions Bar - Marriott - Amman, Jordan ("Hello, I'm Olga from the Volga")
French Quarter - Holiday Inn - Amman, Jordan ("Olga's Sister!)
Aussie Bar - Kowloon, HK (The Bar isn't as strong as it looks, believe me!)
Hyundai Hotel - Vladivostok, Russia (Ask Doorman for girls - they are delish)
Silver Moon/Golden Night - Larnaca, Cyprus (Thai dancing girls who speak Greek!)
Spotland Reform Club - Rochdale, Lancashire (Snooker table and JW Lees)
Anywhere in Patong - but you knew that anyway!

Take care out there and bag up, you know it makes sense :bangin:

 

[johnjp10]

Well I know what DILLIGAF stands for but you've stumped me on the other one !

 

[InSHANity <3]

HELP disco Cocoabano Beach Rio...IMHO....must be seen to believe..girls.girls girls...all at a price and watch your wallet....but worth the trip dano

 

[kungphookitty]

Can't argue with that DANO.....................and LB's too for those into the Darkside in Copa Cabana............Just be aware of big nosed Jewish Americans singing about it.........Brilliant! (Bet you can't get that tune outta yer head for at least an hour now, don'tcha just hate it when that happens?)

G'Day JAWS, when are you next in town? We can have a beer or three and I can tell you about it.......You learned to swim yet?...........I bloody hate nobbies me!.............Some good research out of some Australian University recently - Quote - "Sharks will only attack you if you are wet!".............Good to see the Aussie tax payer gets about as much value from it's boffins as the British do.

Why do digestives go soggy when you dip them in coffee? Here's a million quid to go and research, we are all in the wrong job!.............but then again....................DILLIGAF?

"At the Copa...Copa Cabana.....................................Told ya!!!!!