bollywood classroom

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If you are aspiring to strike a career in the Bollywood, be it a director, script writer or even penning dialogues, this section will be very helpful to you for it contains the scenes and dialogues which every film has and you cannot afford to miss it !!

Some of the here may be rather sexist, chauvinistic, supercilious, vapid, racist, tasteless, offensive and emotionally backward, but we have to be slightly sober for censorship reasons and cannot show Hindi films in their full crowning glory


MUST SCENES FOR EVERY FILM

Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain , and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine)
If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes / heroines will die or take off to foreign country at the end of the movie.
If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savegely for at least 5 minutes
Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be sustained. Else, it will be overruled.
The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the first 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot
When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never miss run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die)
Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of pots, barrels, glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
Any movie involving lost+found brothers will have a song sung by the brothers their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax) the family dog/cat. The amazing thing is that these folks remember the song after 20 years in the movie, and you can't remember it 2 minutes after coming out of the theatre.
There will always be one song in which heroine is scantily dressed and singing in rain.
There will always be one rape scene



HERO

The Hero is the person who gets the woman in the end and kills everyone with moles on their faces. The hero shaves, drinks, drives, gesticulates and picks several fights. He normally has a mother who seldom has a lover. He may have a moustache, but never has a beard, unless he is in disguise or utter poverty. He delivers his lines with minimum style, and except for those lines in which he grimaces, he is totally stone-faced. If the hero has a comic side to him, he says very little of consequence in the entire film and does not die in the end.

Tere saamne teri maut khadi hai
Kuttay !!
Tumhare liye meri jaan bhi haazir hai
Mere paas meri mari maa ka ashirwad hai.
Apne Aaadmiyon se kaho ki bandookein phhek de
Dunyaki koi takat hame juda nahi kar sakti
Mere hotey huay tumhara koi baal bhi baaka nahin kar sakta
Yeh meri maa keh Kangan hai
Maa, mujhe Ashirwad de
Khabardaar joe Usse haat bhee lagaya
Tumne apni ma ka dudh piya hai to ...
Maa main first class first pass ho gaya hu....
Arre, tum to mere bicchade huay bhai ho




HEROINE

The heroine is the stupidest of all Hindi film characters. She normally settles for a man with no class, and even lesser money. She is usually a lot younger and seriously better looking than the hero, even when the hero is the kind whose insipid persona leaves nothing but the looks to matter. Her father is either ridiculously rich or pathetically poor. Any heroine who starts the film in short skirts ends it in sarees. One who doesn't is the vamp.


Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chhod do
Hato. Tum bade woh ho
Naheen!
Mein tumhare bagair nahin reh sakti
Maa ne tumhe ghar bulaya hai
Main usse pyar karti hoon
Humne pyar kiya hai koi gunah nahin
Kuchh goonde mere pichhe pade hai
Baar baar mera pichha kyon karte ho
Koi Dekh Lega
Maine tumhe kya samjha, aur tum kya nikley!




HERO'S SISTER

The hero's sister invariably has her modesty outraged. She seldom lasts beyond a few scenes and in rarest cases lives to see the end of the film. If there is ever a poignant scene highlighting the brother-sister relationship, it is a clear indicator of the sister's soon to follow death.

Mein tumhare bachhe ki maa ban ne wali hoon
Mere bhaiya ko lambi umar dena, bhagwan
Mere bhai pe koi aanch na aye
Khabardar jo mujhe chhua bhi, main apni jaan dey doongi
Bhaiyya, tum mere liye ek pyaari si bhabhi kab laaonge
Main kissi ko muh dikhane layak nahi rahi
Bhagwaan ke liye, meri suhaag mat ujaado
Chhod do mujhe, bhagwaan ke liye chhod do




VILLAIN

Undoubtedly, the villain has the most fun. He nearly gets close to rape the heroine & beats the hero, & kidnap his family in the climax. Sometimes he gets the chance to kill them too !!!

Tum sign karte ho ke nahi ?
Itni achi cheez bhagwaan ke liye chod doon. Kabhi nahin
Ab Saare Hindustan par hamara raaz hoga
Batao faarmoola kahan hay?
Tumhari maa hamare kabze main hai
Kahan jaa rahi ho chhamak chhalon
In gori gori kalaiyon ko kaam karne ki kya zaroorat hai
Yahan teri izzat bachane koi nahi ayega
Yahan teri cheekh sunne walah koi nahin
Bula tere bhagwan ko-- dekhta hoon kaun ata hai?
Kis maai ke laal mein itni himmat hai jo mujhse takrayega ?
Gaddari ki ek hi sazaa hoti hai, maut
Uski koi kamzori hogi, koi maa ya behan?




VILLAINS SIDEKICK's

The villain's cronies normally have quite a raw deal. They seldom get the better women to molest, and even when they do, they have to make do with sharing one among at least ten. They are always hammered by the hero and his sidekick, and return to further hammering from their 'boss' the villain. They are normally dark skinned (!) have moles, beards and wear handkerchiefs around their necks.

Boss, Maine tumhara namak khaya hain
Boss! Maal pakda gaya.
Tumhe Boss ne bulaya hain
Ok Boss




DOCTORS

Doctors in Hindi films are of two kinds, the first is the family/ neighbourhood/ fairy-tale doctor who arrives in slums on rainy midnights to announce high fever and death, and the second is the 'expensive-beyond-lawful-means' doctor who delivers babies, cures near-death cases and drives all his billpayers to crime.

Mujh par bharosa rakhiye
I am sorry
Iska to bahot khoon bahey chooka hai. Phoren operation karna padega.
Bhagwan ne chaha to sab thik hoga.
Badhai ho, tum baap bannay waalay ho
Iski haalat bahot najook hai
Tumhe sakt aaram ki jaroorat hai
Jaldi se woh dawayee lao.
Ab sabh kuch oopar waley ke haath mein hain
Ab main kuch bhi nahin kar sakta.
Bacche ko to hum ney bacha liya par maa...




THE LAW

Contrary to popular belief, there is in fact a concept of law and order in Hindi films. Upholders of the law in Hindi films are of two kinds, the police and the judiciary, quite as it is in real life. The police pick up thugs and the judges let them off

Order..Order..
Kanoon Ko apney haath mein mat lo
Kanoon jazbaat nahi, saboot dekhti hai
Kanoon ko saboot chahiye
Tazeerat-e-hind , dafa 302 ke tahat, mulzim ko maut ki saza sunai jaati hai
Mulzim ko Baa izzat bari kiya jata hai
Milord..




HERO / HEROINE's FATHER

The father is normally a symbol of outright pathos, either cringing to the worldly demands of having unmarried daughters or the burden of having a violent son with little ambition beyond rotating around trees. If the father is an honest, upright citizen - he is shot in the first few frames by the villain who has little use for his moralities

Ghar mein do javaan betiyan hain
Agar toonay aisa kiya toh - mujhse burra koi nahin hogaaa
Ek baar iske haath pile kar doon, phir mein chain se mar sakta hoon
Is ghar ke darwaaze, tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hein
Beti to paraya dhan hai.
Mere jeeteji yeh shaadi nahin ho sakti.
Main jald hi dahez ki sari rakam chuka doonga
Yeh aap kya kah rahen hai, bhai sahib
Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhane ke layak nahin rahe
Kya isi din ke liye tujhe paida kiya tha ?
Main kahta hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey




MOTHER

Any widow in a Hindi film is a mother. Anyone marrying a character actor in the beginning of the film and bearing two children is sure to be widowed. The sons thereafter are likely to grow up to be the main protagonists. Sewing machine is her favourite timepass tool and she will always make halwa for her son.

Mera Raja beta
Mera ashirwad sada tere saath hai.
Tujhe ek maa ki aah lagegi
Mera beta aisa kabhi nahin kar sakta.
Mera beta teri maut bankar aayega, thakur!
Ek baar mujhe maa keh kar pukaro beta...
Mere bete ki raksha karna prabhu
Kya apni maa ki baat nahi maanega?
Mera achha beta, jaldi se dudh peekar bada ho jaa.
Is budhi maa ka tumhare siwa aur kaun hai?
Mere Raja bete ko aaj mein apne haaton se khilaaongi
Hey bhagwan, mere suhaag ki raksha karna
Maine tere liye gajar ka halwa banaya hai
Maine tumhe paal pos kar bada kiya..
Mar, Mar isse betay, isse ne tere Devata jaise pita ka khoon kiya




MOTHER-IN-LAW

The most nasal voice in the cast belongs to the mother-in-law. She has usually got a dead husband, or one who gives 'henpecked' new dimensions. She specialises in kicking the heroine / hero's sister / bhabhi while she is sweeping the floor. She seldom dies, but always gets her come-uppance in the end when her husband, after years of ayurveda and yoga regains his lost vitality, insults her in public and forces her into submission.

Chudeil! Kide pade tere .....
Tere baap ke bheje huey iss sari ka too kya karegi. Chal, mujhe dey
Ey Chudail, ab kaha se mooh kala karke aayee hain?
Aah Haa Haa, Maharani, waha baithey baithey kya kar rahi hain
Arri Kalmoohi, Kaha mar gayi
Eh Kulta, tere baap ne ab tak dahej ki rakam nahin chukayi
 
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    ✨✨✨✨✨[GRAND OPENING]✨✨✨✨✨ 💞Endless Joy Spa💞 🎇 (155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565🎇10am-2am, Young Slim Thai Janice, Young Sexy CBC Rachel. Slim Sexy Chinese Kiki, Tall Slim Sexy Chinese Kelly, Young Sexy Chinese Abie.
  34. KSpa:
    SUNDAY at 𝐊 𝐒𝐏𝐀: JESSICA, YUMI & CINDY. Unit B6-4227 Sheppard Ave East Scarborough, ON (Just East of Midland Ave) ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟳𝟵𝟮-𝟳𝟱𝟲𝟴 ☎️ JESSICA is 20, Chinese, 5’3” and 110 Lbs, sexy & good looking with 34C goodies to play with. YUMI is a young early twenties Japanese girl, about 5’2”, medium build, natural chest, and a big sexy bum. Yumi is very versatile and skilled. CINDY is slim & pretty
  35. SugarLoveSpa:
    Sunday at 𝗦𝗨𝗚𝗔𝗥 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔: Cici & Tiffany. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON ☎ 𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟯𝟲𝟱-𝟮𝟲𝟴𝟴 ☎ CICI is Chinese, 49 Kgs & 1M 57Cms, with nice D melons & an open services menu. TIFFANY is an amazing slim petite doll with natural 34C melons, slim waist, & a cute little booty. Tiffany has incredible bbbj skills, tastes as sweet as honey, and can drive you wild.
  36. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom spa ♨️♨️♨️ table shower body scrub 👍👍👍We have 3 beautiful young girls working today, young and lovely Jessica and coco Specialising in table shower body scrub massages and offering deep massages Cici🤗🤗🤗🤗5124 Dundas St W Etobicoke.Please call ☎️416-817-3366 to book and Walk in the back door there is plenty of parking available
  37. SunriseRH:
    SUNDAY at 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔: HELEN & SUMMER. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 27, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟯𝟮𝟱-𝟴𝟬𝟴𝟲 ☎️ HELEN is a young, slim & very sexy Vietnamese lady. She not only looks good, she IS good. SUMMER is an incredibly sweet Asian babe, 5’3” with a captivating 36D-28-39 figure, weighing 108 pounds. Summer has very good massage & services.
  38. Sparkling Spa:
    ⚡🌟SPARKLING SPA⚡🌟 ✅50 Lockridge Ave Unit 8✅ 👌Markham, ON L3R 8X4👌 ☎️(905) 604-8186 Spa Land Line☎️ ☎️(437) 446-6688 NEW Spa Cell Phone☎️ (West of Warden & 16th Ave) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥SUPERSTAR SERVICE QUEENS AVAILABLE AT SPARKLING SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥SEXY NEW YOUNG GIRLS ALWAYS WORKING - Today’s Schedule is…🔥 Zoe - 🔥Stunning Tall Taiwanese Service Queen with Endless Passion and Sensuality who Wa
  39. NewOriental:
    SUNDAY at 🍏💚𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗟 𝗦𝗣𝗔💚🍏: HAPPY & PHOENIX. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 26, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟯𝟴𝟭-𝟮𝟲𝟴𝟴 ☎️ HAPPY is a slim & busty Korean lady with great massage skills & lots of extra fun. PHOENIX is a gentle sweet Filipina lady, 5’4” and 105Lbs, with 34C-24-34 assets and very open minded.
  40. Jenny’s Spa:
    🎉🍒JENNY’S SPA🎉🍒 ✅5170 DUNDAS STREET WEST✅ 👌ETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4👌 ☎️(647-893-5196)☎️Call or Text ☎️(437-888-3759)☎️Call Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅GRAND OPENING💯NEW GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥EXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNY’S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥TWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥 💯REAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS💯 🔥TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: Nana😘 is a sexy young slim Malaysian girl w
  41. ASPA:
    𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗔𝗧 𝗔 𝗦𝗣𝗔: Be𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗥𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗹, & Sophia 🅰️𝐀 𝐒𝐏𝐀🅰️, 28 South Unionville Ave, Unit 5, Markham. 🅰️𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟳𝟮𝟵-𝟲𝟲𝟬𝟲 𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟴𝟯𝟵-𝟱𝟵𝟲𝟲🅰️ RACHEL is a petite & cute, 34C, 155Cms & 50Kg, very gentle & patient. She has good communication, massage & service. SOPHIA is a slim and attractive attendant, about 5’4”
  42. HolidaySpa:
    Sunday at 🌴😎🌅𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓪🌅😎🌴3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough ☎️𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟮𝟰𝟳-𝟭𝟭𝟵𝟵☎️Amy & Jenny. AMY is an attractive young lady with larger breasts and a nice bottom. She has outstanding oral skills, and is very popular. Don’t miss out on her special skills! Jenny has a medium build, nicely curvy with a slim waist, pretty face, and very flexible skills. Jenny will make you very happy.
  43. Annie Spa:
    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️(647) 891-9688☎️ ☎️(416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Vicky🥰A new arrival at our branch 🎉👯‍♀️Vicky is a very young CBC part time student working for tuition fees and books, this bright young sexy girl is willing to showcase her eagerness to please AND be pleased. Busty 34C boobs on a peti
  44. ForeverWarden:
    Sunday at 🫦❤️🔴🟥♾️𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 𝓢𝓟𝓐♾️🟥🔴❤️🫦2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟴𝟬𝟬-𝟳𝟴𝟴𝟳: Cindy, Jennifer, Mia & Sophia. Cindy is a slim beauty, 5’4”, natural C Cups & wonderfully long nipples. Her massage is nice, her bbbj will drive you wild & her cfs finish is a dream come true. Jennifer is a tall, slim & pretty Asian babe with natural melons and eraser nipples. She is very open minded.
  45. Dreaminn:
    SUNDAY at 💭𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠 𝗜𝗡𝗡 𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗦𝗣𝗔💭: EMILY, LULU & TINA. 10225 Yonge St (North of Major Mackenzie), Richmond Hill, ON ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟴𝟮𝟵-𝟮𝟵𝟴𝟯 ☎️ EMILY is a tall Chinese girl, 170Cms with nice natural C Cups and long brown hair. Emily is open minded and very friendly. LULU is a very popular & well known Chinese attendant, slim and beautiful with 34C Cups, long sexy legs, and incredible services.
  46. bnwellness_wilson:
    Blue Nile Wellness Center, we have 4 young beautiful girls are working today, young sweet student Summer and young fun Jessy open mind , pretty EFG Ella and sexy Coco are providing deep tissue and sensual massage, pls call 416-3985777 book appointment and walk in aways welcome, back entrance and parking available, 350 Wilson Ave North York
  47. Red Rose Spa:
    🌸 We have 5 hot brown girls today 🌸 PAYAL PEARL, MONIKA, NIMRAT, PAOLA, RAVEN, MALIYA, AAVI, KANIKA, KIRAN 🌸 2588 Birchmount 🌸 2 Invergordon 🌸 647-702-8800 🌸 Please visit for a great erotic massage
  48. Pink Flower Spa:
    ✰ 416.299.5515 ✰ 3300 McNicoll Ave, Unit #A8, Scarborough ✰🇱🇧🇱🇧 A talented Girl from Lebanon is joining our team bringing with her a unique set of skillsand a fresh perspective....🇻🇳🇻🇳 Selena (New) Vietnamese just 19Yrs, young & curvy, pretty...🇹🇼🇻🇳Ruby Taiwanese | Vietnamese, medium build and shapely, pretty...🇨🇳🇻🇳Kelly (New) is Chinese Vietnamese, standing tall with captivating beauty and a radiant complexion....✰ PINK FLOWER SPA ✰ 416.299.5515 ✰ 3300 McNicoll Ave, Unit #A8
  49. Flowers Spa:
    ✰ BLUEXADO SPA ✰ 416.357.9797 ✰ 1102 Centre St, Unit #6, Thornhill Vaughan 🇻🇳🇻🇳 Anna (New) from HÀNỘI Vietnam beautiful, white skin, big booty...Great Service...🇨🇳🇻🇳 Jessie | Jullie (New) 19Yrs Chinese | Vietnamese, young and pretty...Great Service+...🇭🇰🇭🇰 Sherry | Cici (New) 22Yrs HongKong beautiful, petite, sensitive chest, pretty face...Service Queen...✰ BLUEXADO SPA ✰ 416.357.9797 ✰ 1102 Centre St, Unit #6, Thornhill Vaughan
  50. Lily Spa:
    ❤️ KAJAL, NINA and KK are here today for your massage needs ❤️ Lily Spa ❤️ 2190 McNicoll ❤️ Scarborough ❤️ M1V 5M2 ❤️ (647) 531-8288 ❤️
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