Christmas/holiday gift - massage therapist

[Bob Bone]

OK. Here is the deal. I go once a week to a chiropractor/massage therapist. I pretty much see the same massage therapist every week. My insurance only covers a 1/2 hour, but because I am the last person she often goes for 40 minutes to an hour, giving me free extra time. Part of it is because she just tends to talk a lot and loses track of time. Either way, she does do a great job and I am very appreciative. It really has helped me out, especially when I have played sports and some of my hamstring problems.

Here's the thing. I'm 33, she's probably 37 or 38. I want to give her something for Christmas to show my appreciation, but I DON'T want it to seem inappropriate. Both of us are happily married. I was thinking maybe get her a $50 gift certificate so she can take her husband out to a nice dinner? Or I could just give her $50 cash and tell her to take her husband out for dinner? It's tough, because on the one hand, I feel guilty not getting her some type of token of appreciation for all the extra time she gives me - but at the same time, I don't want anything to be viewed as inappropriate. I probably will get the chiropractor a small gift as well.

Thoughts? What do any of you get for your massage therapist for the holidays

 

[BritneyM]

in the past when i have done case studies, i have found that people have given me cash in an envelope, and thanking me for my good work, to me that meant alot, and they said in the card how they enjoyed my services - what ever you do, just say thank you in a card, with whatever. she will be grateful

 

[Juuls]

Ace88, tricky, no doubt about it cash is always nice to have However there is an element you allude to - thatit is almost being too easy for the giver, and also being the same as what you normally exchange for massage its not very 'special'.

For this I would either suggest something special or different to cash, or a combination of cash and something else. Chid suggests cash + written words - which is a great solution -I always value words beyond cash if they are sincere and well thought out. So spend some quality time working on this and write about what makes her special - words also make great additions toher collateral - what my clients say about me.....

I would try and find something that says you understand her enough to figure out what she would value, and provide something that shows you put some personal effort or thoughtinto the gift. Do you have a craft or skill you could offer her - perhaps if you can cook then make her Christmas Cake or make some decorations(or an Xmas Pudwith gold coins in!)? Another thought is that some massage therapists are very prissy about their hands (for obvious reasons!) - perhaps a voucher for aposh manicure? (shows you care about her wonderful hands too!)? If you go for a meal voucher then find out what sort of food she likes and choose the resturant - or even let her choose and offer to babysit (but see below).

Be aware that she will be a professional and hence may need to maintain a distance from her clients - so perhaps offering to cut her lawn or cook a dinner party for hermay be too up front and personal. Run the test - if it feels inapropriate to you, or you feel uncomfortable giving then it will probably feel the same way for her - both in terms of what you give and what the value is.

I am sure she willreally apreciate anything you give her that values her as a person and shows you care - which after all is the point of any gift. The fact you are sensitive enough to ask the question shows you care and will make a great choice!

Good luck - and do tell what you decidded to do in the end!

InTouch

P.S. throughout the year when I go to my therpaist I often take something from my lovely garden that is in season :- veg, flowers, fruit - simple, low cost, apropriate and I know she is vegitarian!

 

[aDulaancense92]

InTouch,

There is no doubt that a female giving a gift to a female massage therapist is looked at differently than a male giving a gift to a female massage therapist. That's why I feel I have to be careful. At any rate, I probably will go with money and a card, just saying that I appreciate her time, skill, and energy and that she makes me feel a lot better. I'm going to be encouraging but brief.

One thing that really BUGS me with some female massage therapists in general, is I feel as a male client I am looked on with suspicion in my first couple appointments, almost like they don't trust me or something! That in turn, makes me nervous, because I feel I somehow have to prove I am an ethical client....I just wish sometimes they would give me the benefit of the doubt to begin with. Obviously this isn't all therapists, but I guess I can understand if you've had a few bad experiences with males why the hesitation...

 

[Question Man]

Ace88 - not sure it came across in my post but I am a male therapist! So believe me I do have great sympathy with the gender element of massage for you as a client. As a therapistI am on the other side of the table trying to build a client base of both women and men. There are some excellent threads on this discussion - but all I can say is that a gender issue is real and I just wish it were not. For me bodies are bodies -sadly its the minds thatcan bemore problematic. I have no answers except to live the ethics, acknowledge the problem andtry to feel comfortable with it.It is true to say that the first few sessions with any therapist can sometimes feel awkwardfor both parties regardless of gender - it just takes time for therapist and client to learn to work together.

On the gifts thing - I can see where you are coming from and yes agree that words and cash are probably a 'safe' bet - but isn't it sad that we feel we have to limit ourselves thus.Actually I still stand by my test - if it feels inappropriate or uncomfortable tothe giver then it probably will for the receiver. I am not sure I would change my response regardless of gender on either side.As its seems like a sensitive ethical area I would add the 'red face' test - if you would feel uncomfortable telling your partner/peers/friends that for example:I gave my therapist a huge diamond ring then dont do it!

The only other thing I can suggest that spoils the surprise a bit, but might help, is to talk to your therapist - I would like to give youa small giftthat recognises your skill and commitment but I dont know if you would feel comfortable with that? Any therapist who is clear on their boundaries will welcome the chance to talk about them and give feedback on what they are comfortable with and what they feel is appropriate. I am sure that having this kind of open and mature discussionthat acknowledges the issues will go a long way to improving your relationship with this (and possibly other) therapist. Even if she says that she feels any gift would be inappropriate (and she may) she should feel valued by your intentions.

I really do appreciate your willingness to be careful - this is exemplary - I just wish all clients were as thoughtful and considerate as you - perhaps if they were then there wouldn't be an issue at all! And sorry I am analysing this to the n'th degree - perhaps I make too much and we shouldn't sweat the small stuff - its just that the question opens some really interesting issues - hence the lengthily posts!

Not wishing to fuel the gender issue, but I would welcome some comments from the female therapists out there on how they would feel about this situation - perhaps I just have those rose tinted specs on again! and I can only offer a very limited personal viewpoint

InTouch