Two boys were skinny dippin' and the one couldn't help noticing
the size of the other's willie, so he asked, "How did ya get it
that big?"
The other boy responded, "Well, I rub it down every night with
lard."
Two weeks later they were back at the swimming hole. Once again
there was a comparison made that yielded the same results. The
first boy said, "I did what ya told me. I rubbed it down with
Crisco every night."
The other boy exclaimed "Well, no wonder you still got a puny
pecker - that's shortening."