help with introducing my daughter to the idea i have a boyfriend!?

[Peaches]

Ok heres my problem which i really need some advise on. I am a single parent with a 13 year old daughter and have been dating someone for 5 months. My daughter has never met him and not really aware of my relationship. my family would babysit to let me go see him at his house, The problem is now i dont have my family and no one to babysit i have come to a point where i either let him come visit at my house and meet my daughter or i end the relationship. He is a great guy and always telling me he loves me and wants a future for us, i on the other hand have had to be a bit more reserved as i must consider my daughter, hence the reason i insisted on keeping the two separate Now tho i am in a situation where i must make that choice, i dont want to lose him as i care about him so much, but i have no idea how to sit my daughter down and talk about this, im sure she would like to see me happy but im also scared she objects and gets upset which would mean i would have no choice but to end this relationship and stay single. Is there anyone who has been in this situation that can give me advice on what to say to her or how it turned out for them, it would really help.
I think this is being read wrong, i have no intention of letting this guy move in, he has his own house, my issue is that i cant leave my daughter at home alone and as i have no one to babysit her from now on (my family are no loger here) then the only way for me to see/date him would be for him to come to me, its either that or the relationship ends as my situation with babysitters isnt going to change, i have to be home with my daughter at nite permenantly now.
Also if it helps, her father left me when she was born and chose to never keep contact with us despite my many efforts. he left me as a young girl with a baby and i have brought her up on my own and worked hard to achieve my dream of being a nurse and providing for us. also the guy i am now dating knows about my daughter, he too has a 13 year old daughter and he is an amazing father to her which says alot for him, im just scared cause myself and my daughter have been on our own for so long.

 

[Cosmini]

wait a while. i wouldnt bring any guy around my child at that age

 

[retrochic, babe .]

To these people saying no and that. Sorry but screw them. You deserve to be happy too, and your daughter should understand that. My mother introduced my stepfather 2 weeks into there relationship. It was hard since my father had just past away, but she'll see. Once she sees the way he makes you laugh and the look in your eyes when you see him she'll see your happy. & I don't know about her but I would do anything to see my mom happy. So just go out to dinner somewhere not to adult but not to kid. Sit down introduce him by his name don't say my boyfriend or friend just his name and carry on chatting, let her order her favorite meal and talk about things she likes, to keep her interested. Maybe she might find something in common with him & presto you go a conncetion just gradually start hanging out all three of you. In no time she'll be asking 'hey when's ____ coming over again ?' Trust me :3 hope I helped

 

[Da nah]

I'm a 13 year old girl (nearly 14) and my Mum said if she ever split up with my Dad, she would never ever let a man move in to our house; she'd probably just see someone outside and go on a date now and again or summat You really can't let a man move in to your home when you have a daughter! How ever much you trust them, it's not safe

 

[notme]

Since your daughter doesn't know about the guy your dating be prepared for her to be angry with you,cause keeping a secret is like lying to her but ask him if he wants to meet your kid,I mean she is your better half but also talk to her first,see what she thinks and feels about this guy.

 

[Melza]

Invite him to dinner as a friend. That way they can get to know each other without the panic of her knowing what's happening.

As a girl who has had a terrible relationship with her stepfather it's hard to say what to do, as he came into my life when i was about 9.

It will be easier if she is over you not being with her father anymore, as i know that was a huge barrier between my stepfather and myself.

You also need to be sure that he is ready to treat her with the love and respect a daughter deserves. You might not get married yet but if you do, she needs to know that he loves her like he would his own.

My stepfather never loved me and that's been on my shoulders for the longest time.

I think, at 13, she is old enough to want you to be happy and if he treats her well you will all be happy

As a 21 year old, i told my mother that my stepfather is not who she needs, as she is not happy as she should be.

My neighbors have a fantastic stepfather, the two kids are both in highschool and love him more than life itself.


Just make sure they are ready to accept each other, that he will love her, and that she is not still hung up about her dad.

good luck, i hope it all goes well for you xx

 

[A S]

What I would suggest is taking her into your living room or something, and than ask her "what would you think if I started dating someone?" just to see what she would say. Even if she objects to the idea tell her about you and your boyfriend. You never know she might see him as just a friend, or as a father figure, or she might dis-like him at first, but eventually she'll get use to the idea. If she objects to the idea, you wouldn't have to break up with him. I myself don't have any experience with this kinda thing, but I do know someone that did, and her kids are fine with it. At first your daughter might not like the idea of you dating, not because she doesn't like the guy, but because she'll be scared that she won't have girl time with you any more. She might like it with just you and her, but you won't have to break up with him, just keep dating him and see what happens. You're daughter will get use to the idea, it'll just take a little time. Hope I helped, good luck