I lost my eyeball.

[jimmy_mankoo_86]

I went to this oriental massage place on Yonge Street last night. The MPA started to walk on my back but there was so much pressure that my glass eye fell out, rolled under the table, and went down a heating duct. The MPA started screaming and some other co-workers came in and started fainting so I got the hell out of there. I didn't know what to do so I went to a convenience store and bought some M & M's and put them in my eye socket. I needed to calm down. I went to a movie at the Carleton but then some stupid kids started stealing the M & M's from my socket so I couldn't even watch the movie. So I lost my eye, $40 at the massage parlor, and the movie was ruined.

If any one finds an eyeball on Yonge Street, could you contact me please.

Thanks, D

 

[sophparis]

i'm turning this into a screenplay.... good luck finding your eye....

 

[The Magician]

That's damn funny. And rather absurd.

 

[CanineTruth]

M & M s rock.

 

[Staci Lancaster]

Where's Ref when u need him? hahaha

 

[PandaNinja]

What flavor were the M & M's?
Weren't they kind of small, use a jawbreaker next time.

 

[Beau.Gus]

Rather absurd.....
Into the heating duct - no grate on the heating duct (alright possible)
M&M's in the eye socket - one would think melting would be a problem & sugar in that cavity (not adviseable)
Kid's Stealing - what exactly were you doing with kids so close??!! Showing off? (who knows here)
Looking for Glass eye on Yonge St - I don't know of any heating/ac ducts that would be connected to the outside (highly unlikely)

Duck it must have been a long winter down south, welcome back!

 

[pinkybunny9]

I think we have to give him a certain poetic license...

 

[kiwi mum to one and a bun]

When shit like this happens we just have to deal as best we can and move on.

 

[USMCwife]

What colour was the eyeball? I found 3, not sure which one is yours.

One had chocolate on it.

 

[Vampire Lord]

melts in your eye not in your hands...

 

[orlando_salcido]

I didnt know M&Ms were eye candy.

 

[Pompal 09.]

It's not nice when people make fun of you when you lose your eyeballs. Last week I forgot my prosthetic leg at a massage parlor and I went to back to get it but the MPAs were using it to play stick ball and they wouldn't give it back which really hurt my feelings.

 

[Kara S]

Could be worse, they could try to kick your ass with your own leg.

 

[??????????????]

LOL Funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

 

[lausanne massage]

Wow, bringing back so many bad memories of grade school. Kids can be so cruel.

 

[nickname]

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

 

[mr_know_it_all]

Last time I was at Muse they had done some redecorating - maybe you should inquire about the new lighting fixture?

 

[ck01]

Were you there for a massage Kyra......can I watch next time?

 

[lisa hampton]

I was there getting my batteries recharged.