I will be graduating soon and am having anxiety

[momof2girls]

I will be graduating soon and am starting to feel alot of anxiety... I'm very concerned about the creeps out there that think massage is code for sexual favors. How often will I be confronted about "happy endings", or "further enlightenment", "complete massage", or whatever else these weirdos will want? I will be working in a spa setting, so I don't know if this will change the possibilities of coming into contact with those kind of people.

 

[Ad astra]

I will be graduating soon and am having anxiety

Its going to happen at one point in your career. It happened to me 2 weeks after I got my license in a spa. The first time it really bothered me. Second time, I was better able to handle the situation.
Remember though some guys will get an erection and it won't be anything sexual. What turns it to that is how they react to it.
I have had that happen and they apologize. Have had it where they start gyrating the table and at that second we are done! No questions...get up get dressed,see you in the front massage is over.
It still gets me to this day 7 years into my career,I am intimate with my husband and when I massage him,nothing happens on his end. But men I have never been with in any way nor don't have the intent,it happens.

Where I am at now (chiro office) I have them sign a paper that states this is a therapeutic massage. If any sexual advances,actions or touching happens, no matter how much time they have left massage is over and they will pay the full price of what they booked.

I had a MALE client tell me once that it was sad that I had to do that to insure something like didn't happen.

 

[Anarchist]

I will be graduating soon and am having anxiety

I work in a spa-ish setting and it hasn't been a big deal. Most guys don't call a spa if they're looking for the whole enchilada but there are the 'hopefuls' as I call them, none do anything to the point where I ended the session. We've had a few men call and ask the *full* body massage question with emphasis on the 'full' and we tell them 'Full body is back, legs and arms, glutes, hands and feet, neck and head'. I've had a few act like they're being helpful and 'adjust' the sheet. I had a few ask me "So what else do you do?" but when I first graduated it didn't dawn on me what they might be hinting at and would answer "Oh, I also do Swedish, chair, body scrubs etc" but I still think that's a really good answer and one that can't be misconstrued. Total innocence on my part as if it would never enter my head they meant anything else other than my professional offerings. I've had a few try to talk me out of draping, one tried to convince me it would block the energies, the other constantly complaining about how 'hot' he was under the sheet. Also had a few that have called and ask if we do naked massage. My answer "You can be as naked as you want to be **under the sheet**".

The concern about it might have bothered me more when I was younger, as I think it did some of my much younger classmates. But I was 39 when I started school and not about to put up with anyone's nonsense. Mostly I'm amused by their transparent attempts, although they think they're being so coy about it. You'll recognize the little signs in no time.

 

[Angi]

I will be graduating soon and am having anxiety

It's true that you will learn quickly how to spot those who are seeking more than massage. Each time you deal with the situation makes you better prepared to deal with it the next time, but it probably won't happen as often as you think. I've only had 2 in almost 4 years on my table and with both of them I had question marks and had my guard up. Several others called or dropped by to 'inquire' about massage but left quickly when they realized it was a no go. Or maybe it was the sight of me that had them running lol. Whatever works...

 

[peat]

I will be graduating soon and am having anxiety

Oh One more bit of advice that I have learned over the years no matter how single you ever are,if a male client ask you are happily in a relationship.
I was divorcing my ex husband my first year in practice and to my male clients I was happily married.For me it helps them know you are off limits and lessens the chance of anything happening. Because if they are asking about your relationship status IMO thats them testing the waters so to speak.

 

[Ryan / Stumpy]

I will be graduating soon and am having anxiety

I've really only had two that made me uncomfortable, one more so. And they never really did anything (except the one guy was nekkid facedown on the TOP sheet when I knocked and came back in, a blatant disregard of the instructions I gave him) but it was just a hinky feeling I had about both of them. Most of them, I just regard as silliness. You'll soon develop a 6th sense, I don't think any of us have been caught totally off guard. One thing that helps with the iffy callers is to tell them it is by appointment only (even though we do take walkins) because the massage parlor business doesn't really go by appointments.

I've never had anyone come right out and ask me about happy endings or anything like that, and if they did, the session is over then and there. Having an intake form helps, as well as a statement on it that this is strictly therapeutic in nature and any sexual misconduct -verbal or otherwise- will not be tolerated. We also don't leave a female therapist alone in the shop with a new male client or schedule them at the end of the day when she might be alone. But we all have males that we see regularly and they are wonderful clients, none of us worry about them or being alone with them. Those are the overwhelming majority of clients that most of us have.

 

[Trigz T]

I will be graduating soon and am having anxiety

Most of my regulars are men,and I love that! I retain a male clientele better,always have and I never really marketed towards them.
Had a new one today that booked weekly for the next 2 months

Don't let the few bad apples turn you away or cause undo anxiety. It isn't a daily occurrence,its actually a rare thing when it does happen.

Do a search on here about it and you will see you are not alone and learn some ways to put them in their place.

 

[Pompal 09.]

I will be graduating soon and am having anxiety

I will be graduating soon and am starting to feel alot of anxiety... I'm very concerned about the creeps out there that think massage is code for sexual favors. How often will I be confronted about "happy endings", or "further enlightenment", "complete massage", or whatever else these weirdos will want? I will be working in a spa setting, so I don't know if this will change the possibilities of coming into contact with those kind of people.

A lot of "how often" depends on how you carry yourself and the environment you are workign in. A decent spa setting should only have a few (maybe 2) of those that you have to deal with in a year, in my experience. The spa should have a serious commitment to your well-being regardnig this sort of thing. Ask before you take the job, as to their policy and protocol on these matters. That will let you know a lot up front.

I believe there is a good thread that maestra wrote on quite some time ago about a situation she had experienced. Maybe someone can provide you with some applicable links too. I won't be able to, but if you search in the Questionable Delimma Section, you'll find some helpful thoughts.