My ex husband has bribed my 10 year old to give him foot massages?

[Lucy]

Do you think it is wrong for my ex husband to bribe my ten year old to give him foot massages? One of the reasons that I divorced him was because of his inappropriate behavior with my oldest daughter. He would give her foot massages and rub her foot against his groin.
Now I find out that during his visits with our ten year old, he has bribed him to give him and his friend (both male) foot massages. My son declined. He was bribed for money, by the way.
The first time he did this to my eldest daughter, I found out about it years later, and I did get a restraining order for my daughter. The younger son (and daughter) however were not part of the order. My ex had admitted to the inappropriate massages. I am going to court on the 19th of this month with other issues and this just was revealed to me.
I am just sick about it. The family court commissioner had asked a third party to decide two years ago how much contact my younger children should have, and that has been overlooked. I feel that this isn't a small matter, but I just wanted others opinions.
My exhusband has also been diagnosed with Bi-polar. Sometimes I don't think that he knows right from wrong.
I am glad that my son did, however.
I do give money to my kids for chores and such. But not for something like this that they are supposed to keep a secret and something that they don't want to do. I give money for taking out the dog for walks, garbage, emptying the dishwasher...etc...
those are bribes, too...but the foot massage is wrong, esp that he was in court before with the same offense. Right??

 

[jennifer h]

Be very careful with your ten year old. Talk to your children and don't allow them to be scared of telling you anything. A foot massage is all very nice but this sounds like alternative motives. he is old enough to say he doesn't want to be in his company alone or with his friends. Perhaps they should meet for outings in public only.

 

[Wattz'sgirl<3]

My Grandpa would pay me to give him pedicures because my Grandma couldnt bend down to do his feet anymore and he was old school and wouldn't go to a manicurest. But it sounds like your ex my have a fetish. Did he like for you to rub his feet? Did he like to look,smell, or touch your feet? Did you report him for the previous behavior that involved your daughter? Did your son say it made him uncomfrontable? I would talk to your 10 year old about inapproprite touches and that if somebody even family made him feel uncomfrontable that he is to use his words and let whoever know that this is not okay. If visitation is not court ordered then I would not let your child be alone with this man maybe do a daytime visit like at a park or an arcade.

 

[santobugito]

In this case yes.
It doesn't seem right, but Im not above bribery in general lol
The other day I gave my oldest daughter the tv for the night to throw some tiger balm on my neck and make me a cup of tea.
(she's 13)

 

[cath]

okay so maybe youshould tell the police that the actions of your ex...because rubbing his own daughters foot on his groin is quite disturbing,