Fuzzy, you might want to be careful. Sophie told me all about you and gave me a copy of the note she had her lawyers send to Fred....
Subject: FUZZY THUMPER, RABBIT STALKER
To:
[email protected]
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DEAR SIR:
THIS E-MALE IS COMING FROM THE LEGAL TEAM FORMERLY ASSOCIATED WITH ALPHACARE SPA. PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT WE HAVE BEEN RETAINERED BY SOPHIE OF SRM REGARDING A POSTER ON THE massageplanet.net COMMONLY KNOWED AS FUZZY THUMPER.
MS. SOPHIE HAS BECOME INCREASINGLY DISTRAT.... DISTRAUT... DISTROUGHT... UPSET BY NOT ONLY THE PRIVATE ANTICS OF THIS CLIENT, BUT EVEN MORE BY HIS BIZARRE PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF WORSHIP ON YOUR BORED. IN FACT WE ARE ASSISTING MS. SOPHIE WITH A RESTRAINTING ORDER WHICH WILL BE SERVED UPON MR. THUMPER AS SOON AS THE MAGISTRATE STOPS LAUGHING.
TO AVOID ANY POTENTAL LEGAL RAMIF.... RAMIFICATERS.... ISSUES, WE ASK THAT YOU IMMEDIATE NOTIFY MR. THUMPER TO CEASE AND DECYST HIS OBSESSIVE PURSUIT OF MS. SOPHIE AND HER GOODIES. IF SHE'S GOING TO GIVE IT UP IT WILL NOT BE TO A GROWN MAN WHO THINGS HE IS A BUNNY.
FURTHERMORE WE WOULD EXPECT YOU TO APOLOGISE TO MS. SOPHIE FOR HER PAIN AND SUFFERING. YOUR NEGLIGENTS IS A CONTRIBUTING FACTER IN OUR COMPLAINT AND UNLESS YOU TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION YOU WILL ALSO BE NAMED IN THE LAWSUIT.
SHOULD YOU REQUIRE AN E-MAIL FROM OUR CORPORATE SOLICITOR TO CONFIRM THE TRUTH OF OUR STATEMENT, IT WOULD BE OUR PLEASURE TO HAVE HIM REPLAY TO SAME.
I TRUST YOU WILL DEAL WITH THIS MATTER IN A TIMELY FASHION, AND ADVISE MR. THUMPER TO BE CAUTIOUS OF THE RUMOURS HE/SHE SPREADS BECAUSE IT DOES AFFECT THE LIVELIHOOD OF OTHERS.
WITH THANKS
The Team Formerly Known as Alphacare