301 1640 16 Ave NW - Zena

[Sonia]

Stupid is as stupid does. Or at least I should have rethought going back here.

I saw an ad on the Calgary Sun about new staff at this place. I'm not even sure of the name. It's across from Northhill Mall on the 3rd floor. The ad mentioned new staff so I thought what the hell. How bad could it be?

Phone ahead to make sure the new staff was there and I was told that she was there. I knew of Giselle who is the black lady who owns it I think. There is Lee who is a a bigger blonde lady with glasses. And the new staff which is Zena. I had my hopes up a little. It might be promising....


So up I go in the elevator and turn the corner to room 301. I am greeted by the blonde who I have seen before but never had a session. I make sure that I ask to see who else is working. I did the math and I knew not to ask for Giselle and to ask for Zena. I pay for the 1/2 which is $40. I am led to the room and told to wait. I get on the table and hope that the gods are looking down on me tonight.

As soon as I am undressed and lying on the table guess what comes on the radio? The Power of Love by Celine Dion. You have got to be kidding me. I have a small laugh to myself and wait for the door to open.

Well it opens and Zena walks in. Meh. Not what I was hoping for. A 40 year old brunette walks in with the shape of that aunt of yours that would always pinch your cheek when you were younger. Pilsbury Doughboy anyone?

Soooo I'm in the room naked on the table already down $40. What is a guy to do? That's right. Stay just where I am and ride this trainwreck out.

The massage starts. Typical don't know what the hell they are doing massage. Just goes through the motions. Place some oil. Smear it around. More oil. Smear it around. Turn over and it's the same thing. Not even a hint of teasing. She moves up to the top of the table where my head is. Sometimes I don't mind this as when they lean forward to massage you sometimes get boobs in the face.

Well not this time. She picked up the pace rubbing up and down my chest. She seemed to be in a hurry. That would have been fine if she was hot. Nooooo. I had the unfortunate experience of the Whac-a-mole game. My head was the mole and her gunt was the hammer. There is no other feeling in the world as a gunt being repeatedly shoved against the top of your head. I died a little bit inside.

I survive the midway game and she moves back to the side. She asks if there will be anything else. I ponder wondering what bargaining tools could I muster up today. I ask for the release and she says sure. Just leave the tip on the table. I pause waiting for her to offer. It works. She mentions what the tip should be. I thought with the caliber I should be getting a good deal on a HJ. Nope. She wanted $70 for a clothed release.




You be the judge.


Let's just say Slim saved him some money.

A polite decline and a quick shower and I was running down the stairs. I couldn't wait for the elevator.




I Am.

http://web.ukonline.co.uk/xenauk/sounds/xenayell.wav

SlimShady.

 

[Lexie]

Thank you Slim! You're my hero! So brave to go on these dangerous reconnaissance missions. This is excellent information that will save me disappointment and $.

 

[Mizzylicious]

x2

Your stories are not only entertaining, but they are always very helpful and informative too...

Thank you!

 

[hmm.]

Holy shit you made me laugh. On behalf of the millions of lurkers here, and the few of us that actually aspire to be contributing members of the board, I thank you for your sacrifice and most excellent field report. You are a credit to the brotherhood.

H.

 

[Tripy]

This is the 1st thread I've seen where Slim decides to leave even though he left half a week's pay at the front door.

And when did the MPs start charging $40 for 1/2? I'm soooo glad I'm out of that game...

 

[ZBDblues Unplugged]

Kay your post busted me with my business partner again as I laugh my ass of in the office. Fuck n hilarious.

 

[Pompal 09.]

Slim is without a doubt the best there is, in the male category.

Jenn is the best there is in the female category.

I think you two should get together and then do a review on each other.

It would be a classic!

G.A.

 

[Neil5624]

that was awesome!

 

[kemperk]

Thanks again Slim for toftt. You are awesome man!