BulliedEnough
Member
A big fear of mine came true. The fear that having sex with prostitutes won't numb the pain of loneliness. The whole reason I got into this scene was because I wanted to feel less lonely. Spending 40 mins with an MPA is fun but it's not "fulfilling." As soon as I walk outside, I feel even more depressed because I see actual couples spending time together, having fun (without the 30 min time limit).
I've been lonely my whole life. Most people my age (mid 20s) already have an established social circle. Unfortunately I don't, so it's harder to date. Cold approaching girls just isn't leading to any actual dates. I was hoping I could change my social situation this year, but I couldn't due to Coronavirus. All College campuses are closed so I have no place to meet people my age. It's not too bad for other people because like I said, MOST people already have an established social circle by the time they reach my age. They already have a significant other.
So with that said, I was hoping I could find an Asian girl/MPA that does girlfriend experience. Even if it's pretend love, I just want something to numb the loneliness until a vaccine comes out and I can finally go outside to meet girls at college.
The thing is, I could get a girlfriend right now, but I'm not sexually attracted to any of the girls that are interested in me. I'm only attracted to Asian chicks. I don't even need a super cute asian chick. A 5/10 asian girl would be awesome enough. So it's not like I have high standards or anything. I'm not a bad looking dude, it's just that I'm brown (desi). I fear that my skin color is holding me back. All the romantic prospects I find are my skin color. It's really hard for me to find Asian girls who are open to dating a brown guy. When I meet girls, I don't give off any obvious/creepy "yellow fever" vibes. I'm pretty good at hiding that stuff. I feel bad for saying this because I appreciate ANYONE who has shown romantic interest in me. It PAINS me to reject someone because I don't find them attractive. I'm thankful for them that they've shown interest in me, but I can't go any further with them if they're not Asian. I've rejected quite a few girls because they weren't asian, and I don't feel good doing it. They're not ugly or anything, it's just that they're not my type.
I'm having a really hard time getting with Asian chicks. Are brown/desi people really considered THAT ugly in their eyes? Is it a cultural thing for them? Are they taught that brown people are dirty or something from a young age?
I've been lonely my whole life. Most people my age (mid 20s) already have an established social circle. Unfortunately I don't, so it's harder to date. Cold approaching girls just isn't leading to any actual dates. I was hoping I could change my social situation this year, but I couldn't due to Coronavirus. All College campuses are closed so I have no place to meet people my age. It's not too bad for other people because like I said, MOST people already have an established social circle by the time they reach my age. They already have a significant other.
So with that said, I was hoping I could find an Asian girl/MPA that does girlfriend experience. Even if it's pretend love, I just want something to numb the loneliness until a vaccine comes out and I can finally go outside to meet girls at college.
The thing is, I could get a girlfriend right now, but I'm not sexually attracted to any of the girls that are interested in me. I'm only attracted to Asian chicks. I don't even need a super cute asian chick. A 5/10 asian girl would be awesome enough. So it's not like I have high standards or anything. I'm not a bad looking dude, it's just that I'm brown (desi). I fear that my skin color is holding me back. All the romantic prospects I find are my skin color. It's really hard for me to find Asian girls who are open to dating a brown guy. When I meet girls, I don't give off any obvious/creepy "yellow fever" vibes. I'm pretty good at hiding that stuff. I feel bad for saying this because I appreciate ANYONE who has shown romantic interest in me. It PAINS me to reject someone because I don't find them attractive. I'm thankful for them that they've shown interest in me, but I can't go any further with them if they're not Asian. I've rejected quite a few girls because they weren't asian, and I don't feel good doing it. They're not ugly or anything, it's just that they're not my type.
I'm having a really hard time getting with Asian chicks. Are brown/desi people really considered THAT ugly in their eyes? Is it a cultural thing for them? Are they taught that brown people are dirty or something from a young age?