Hobby or Addiction?

[mex.reyes]

I've been thinking lately that my hobby might actually be an addiction, cause I cannot seem to stop if I wanted to. So I'm wondering what other guys think with respect to their massage visits.

 

[Araphel]

Only you can control your actions. I used to go very often, and I asked myself the same question, I also asked myself what sparks my interest into deciding to go. In my case it was seeing a hot chick, or thinking of past experiences with an mp.

I felt stupid thinking of all the money I'm wasting, cause I felt horny.

I still do get massages but only once a month, It makes the visit that much more exciting,

 

[sir galahad]

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I would add one more an erotic therapy and for me it is not an addiction or hobby. This erotic therapy improves my physical and mental health.

 

[OriginalPenguin]

When one is addicted they are no longer in control of their actions. It becomes compulsive behaviour. Much in the same way a person suffering with OCD (Obsessive-compulsive disorder) cannot stop checking or washing their hands or whatever.

True story as told by a university professor to explain compulsive behaviour. He had hypnotized one of his students so that when he taps his pencil on the desk, the student would put his chair on the desk. Part of the hypnotism was that he would not remember the suggestion. After he was brought out of the trance state they chatted and then the professor began tapping his pencil. After a few moments the student started getting extremely fidgety. He asked if something happened while he was hypnotized. The professor was truthful and told him about the suggestion. The student fidgeted throughout the rest of the class. When class was over all the students left. A minute later the hypnotized student came back into the class and put the chair on the desk saying, "Damn you!" This is what compulsive behaviour is like.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[Praful]

And your point is.....??

 

[xscreamx29]

We do not always have control over our actions, thus the essence of addiction.

In addiction our actions are controlling us.

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

 

[DanP]

I have heard of some cases where guys get seriously addicted. I had one guy who worked for me as a sub contractor. I paid him over $9K one month and two weeks later he wanted to know if he could get an advance on the work he had coming the next month. He was broke and then confessed most of the 9K from the previous month went to one SP.

A person can get addicted to money too. For example on the other side I've known SPs or former SPs who had difficulty adapting to sex without pay. One woman I knew well but not as a client told me she couldn't come unless there was an exchange of money. Don't know if that sort of thing is common, but its interesting.

 

[DUCKY {lovesyouu}]

Everything you do can be addictive, just depends on how much of your take home pay you spend on that addiction. Drinking and smoking are an addiction...how much of your pay do you spend on these? These are available pretty much anywhere you travel or live in the world...what you pay for these varies from place to place. Everyone should try to limit their addictions...myself, I don't smoke or do drugs...I do enjoy having a few beers. Having a few beers is still an addiction, but its a low priced addiction (30~40 bucks or so a week).

The escort scene is pretty much like cigarettes and drinking...its available everywhere but those costs fluctuate wildly. Now if your spending more than a quarter of your weekly takehome on escorts, then you've pretty much past the addiction stage.

 

[xxamethystnightxx]

So, if you stop cold turkey, would you go into withdrawal?

Just missing it is not a sign of withdrawal. If you don't have any signs, then it may not be an addiction.

This probably might fall more under the category of vice more than addiction. But there's always exception for some people.

 

[Augustus]

Interesting debate. The "scientific community" remains divided about this issue... you can do some search on the Internet with the key words "sex addiction", "sexual dependancy", "sexual compulsivity" "withdrawal" and you will have tons of writing or debating... I have a friend who is actually part of a research that is trying to tackle the influence of porn on heterosexual men...

Bottom line, I think you have to know your comfort zone. Sex is part of the pleasures of life but is not the only one. Some people have more needs than others, same thing with doing anyother activity you like. But if it has an impact on other aspects of your life, either because your spending too much, or you cannot get into a relationship, or whatever... then one must recognize the problem before trying to work on the solution.

And then there is temptation... which is not easy to deal with... but that is another issue.

Personally, having one or two encounters in a month with a SP does not represent an addiction, and I am able to go weeks if not months without. Plus, I will only go there if I have done some overtime I can spend on it...

Anyway, that is my 2 cents...

tallguy

 

[Mrsjvb]

Human beings by nature often develop very addictive type behavioral patterns. People become addicted to all sorts of things, some may have positive addictions but unfortunately most humans acquire negative addictions. A negative addiction is one that may have dire consequences should the person pursue their addiction long term. Addictions such as cigarette smoking can lead to cancer and heart disease. Addictions such as excessive alcohol consumption can lead to damage to the brain and the liver. Addictions such as the abusive consumption of various illegal narcotics known as cocaine, crack, ecstasy, marijuana, heroin, LSD, etc. leads to the destruction of brain cells, plus a host of various types of other health related issues , and in some cases to an overdose of the drug being consumed, causing death. Addictions to overeating will lead to obesity, resulting in a host of other health related issues such as diabetes. Addictions to gambling can often bankrupt a person, leaving them broke and resulting in possible suicide. Addictions to steroids can cause a person to develop liver and kidney problems, plus the real possibly of developing various forms of cancer not to mention extreme aggressive behavior.
For some of the above mentioned addictions, there exists various support groups such as “AA” which stands for alcohol anonymous, “CA” which stands for cocaine anonymous, and “GA” which stands for gambling anonymous, etc. All of these support groups share one thing in common, and that is to help the individual cope with their addiction but more importantly to overcome their respective addiction by offering a forum of support from other individuals afflicted by the same addiction.
Addictions to sex, if you are paying for it can also bankrupt you if you are out of control. Furthermore, addictions to sex can often have dire consequences for people involved in either a marriage or a long term serious relationship. For example, If someone is involved in either a marriage or a serious relationship and are going outside their marriage or relationship to have their sexual addiction fulfilled, then something is either very wrong with the relationship or with the individual afflicted with the sexual addiction. I have always maintained that relationships can either be very complicated or very simple. When someone is involved in a relationship, they need to express all of their various needs to their respective partners in order to be stimulated emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and physically which also includes sexual stimulation. In simple terms, to the degree that your partner fulfills your needs, they make you happy, to the degree that they make you happy, you are willing to fulfill their needs and desires and make them happy as well. If only people who are involved in relationships could practice this most basic theory of fulfilling each other’s needs, then there would be far fewer divorces and break ups. Unfortunately there seems to be a lack of communication and understanding in the majority of relationships, as can be witnessed by the very high divorce rate pegged at approximately 33% of all marriages.
From reading my book, you will have concluded that I have an extreme sexual addiction to women’s beautiful feet, and you would be correct. In my case however, I have practiced my sexual addiction as a single unattached male, never hurting anybody but myself, or more precisely my bank account balance. I have read many reviews on the review boards such as www.eforum.xxx.ca, where men known as sexual hobbyists, willingly participate in paying sex workers to indulge their sexual addictions. Some of these men openly confess that they see a sex worker two to three times a week, which is rather excessive, especially on their bank account balance. The other major problem is that some of these men are married with children, and are at risk at seriously jeopardizing their marriage, not to mention what this might be doing to their children. These men should seek professional help from either a psychiatrist or a sex therapy specialist, or perhaps even a marriage counselor, before their sexual addictions destroy their lives and the lives of their loved ones.
As for myself, I try to control my sexual addiction to women’s feet, as I see my masseuse Jessica only once every second week. I also keep a written record of how much money I spend on each sexual encounter and the grand total for the entire year. I believe that as long as my addiction is somewhat controlled and I’m not spending more money than I can afford, then it is somewhat acceptable. I call my sexual addiction to women’s’ feet my “entertainment expense”, and sacrifice taking vacations because of it.
Furthermore, I came to the conclusion a long time ago that men are always paying for sex in one way or another. Most men who are married or involved in a serious long term relationships are indirectly paying for sex in various ways, for example taking their wife or girlfriend out to expensive dinners, buying them expensive jewelry, by financially supporting their wives or girlfriends, taking them on expensive vacations and sometimes buying them flowers or perfume or various other gifts. In fact I have spoken to many married men, and they have openly confessed that being married can often be much more of a financial strain then paying a sex worker to fulfill your sexual needs when ever needed. Sometimes these married men have to plead with their wives to provide them with the sex they desire, but may often be turned down because their wives may not be in the mood at that moment, or they conveniently have a headache. This may very well be the major cause why some of these married men go outside of their marriage and pay a sex worker to fulfill their sexual needs and desires. I am certain that successful marriages do exist, whereby the needs of each partner are being mutually fulfilled, but more often than not this is not the case. When divorce is involved, this can become a huge financial burden for the ex- husband, being forced to pay a hefty monthly alimony to his ex-wife as well as financial support for his children. I heard of a catch phrase that states the difference between sex for money and sex for free, is that very often the sex for free costs more. Tom Clancy the actor writes that “sex is one of the most wholesome beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy”.
As for myself, I confess that paying a sex worker who has no emotional attachment to me can sometimes be a very empty experience emotionally. As long as I see it for what it is, which is pure sexual gratification and nothing more, then my expectations will be fulfilled. The fact is, the sex worker is basically interested in making money as fast and as easy as possible and cares very little about you other than making you orgasm as quickly as she possibly can. A smart sex worker who sees the potential of a long term regular client will sometimes go out of her way to please you sexually, by doing the extra things that bring you the greatest amount of pleasure and enjoyment. A perfect example is Jessica the masseuse that I am currently seeing, who has fulfilled my voyeurism fantasy twice so far and is willing to do it again. Furthermore, she has the most beautiful feet and gorgeous legs that I can possibly desire from a woman, plus she always performs an amazing orgasmic foot job on me which has me coming back for more.
From reading my book, some may conclude that I am a very self indulgent individual. My response to that is life is a journey of experiences, and as individuals we always have a choice to select what we believe is best for us and what will bring us the greatest amount of pleasure and enjoyment. I have come to the conclusion that of all the things I have experienced in my life, there is no greater pleasure than having your sexual needs and desires fulfilled by a beautiful woman, to whom you are so physically attracted that just by looking at her body you become very sexually aroused! In my opinion, this is one of life’s greatest highs, certainly more enjoyable than food.
Aside from the enjoyment factor derived from sexual activity, engaging in sex brings with it many health benefits to both men and women. The health benefits of sex make you feel wonderful, and you will gradually notice that the more sex you have the more bounce you will have in each step. Happiness isn’t found in sex itself, but sex does ultimately play a role in human happiness. Sex is good, but sex with intimacy is even better. A large part of this has to do with the chemical changes that occur in your body when you are touched. Caressing, hugging, stroking, and cuddling all send a chain reaction of chemicals to signal your brain that it is pleasurable.
Footman

 

[Pompal 09.]

The following is a list of some of the benefits which confirms that sex is necessary to sustain a normal healthy life. The following findings are supplied by Forbes “Benefits of sex”.
Improved sense of smell : After sex, production of the hormone “prolactin” surges. This in turn causes stem cells in the brain to develop neurons in the brain’s olfactory bulb, its smell center.
Reduced risk of heart disease : In a 2001 follow-up to a Queens University study, researchers focused on cardiovascular health. Their study uncovered that by having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half. This relationship found between frequency of sexual intercourse and mortality is of considerable public interest.
Weight loss and overall fitness: Sex is deemed to be a physical exercise; in fact a vigorous bout of sex can burn approximately 200 calories, equivalent to running 15 minutes on a treadmill or playing a spirited game of racquetball. The pulse rate in a sexually aroused person rises from about 70 beats per minute to 150, the same as that of an athlete putting forth maximum effort. In fact researchers have determined that the equivalent of six big Macs can be worked off by having sex three times a week for a year. Muscular contractions during intercourse work the pelvis, thighs, buttocks, arms, neck and thorax. Sex also boosts the production of “testosterone”, which leads to stronger bones and muscles. Men’s Health magazine has gone so far as to call the bed the single greatest piece of exercise equipment ever invented. Spending four hours a week having sex could add up to a loss of nine pounds by the end of the year.
Reduced depression: Such was the implication of a 2002 study of 293 women. It was determined that sexually active participants whose male partners did not use condoms were less subject to depression than those whose partners did. One possible theory of this causality is “Prostoglandin,” a hormone found only in semen may be absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones.
Pain relief: Immediately before an orgasm, levels of the hormone “oxytocin” surge to five times their normal level. This in turn releases endorphins, which alleviate everything from headache to arthritis to even migraines. In women, sex also prompts the production of estrogen which can reduce the pain of PMS.
Reduce Insomnia: People who have frequent sex experience the profound effects of the deep relaxation that typically follows lovemaking. After satisfying sex which typically includes an orgasm, both body and mind are completely relaxed.
Fountain of youth: Although the orgasm is sometimes referred to as the “little death,” having two orgasms a week can increase your life span. Every time you reach an orgasm, the hormone “DHEA” or more precisely “dehydroepiandrosterone” increases in response to sexual excitement and ejaculation. “DHEA” can boost your immune system, repair tissue, improve cognition, keep skin healthy, and even work as an antidepressant.
Less-frequent colds and flu: Wilkes University in Pennsylvania says individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30% higher levels of an antibody called “immunoglobin A,” which is known to boost the immune system.
Better bladder control: Have you ever heard of “Kegel” exercises? You do them whether you know it or not every time you stem your flow of urine. The same set of muscles is worked during sex.
A happier prostate: Some urologists believe they see a relationship between the infrequency of ejaculation and cancer of the prostate. To produce seminal fluid, the prostate and the seminal vesicles take such substances from the blood as zinc, citric acid and potassium, and then concentrate them up to 600 times. Any carcinogens present in the blood would likewise be concentrated. Rather than have these concentrated carcinogens hanging around causing trouble, it’s better to evict them. Having regular sex could do the job, however if the flushing of the prostate were your only objective, masturbation might be a better way to go especially for the nonmonogamous male. A study recently published by the British Journal of Urology, asserts that men in their 20’s can reduce by a third their chance of developing prostate cancer later on by ejaculating more than five times a week.
Let’s face it we are all going to die one day, but ask yourself the following question. When you are going to be lying on your death bed, will you say to yourself I wished I would have had more fun? I for one can honestly say that I have fulfilled most of my sexual desires and voyeurism fantasies. I have experienced hundreds of different women performing foot jobs on me, some of them quite beautiful. How many men can honestly say that they have had sexual experiences with hundreds of different women? Even though I have paid money to the majority of the women that I have had sexual experiences with, I believe I may be the envy of many men, not that I’m looking for other men to be envious of my many sexual experiences, but that’s just the way it is.

 

[smdiner]

I think you don't know what a compulsion feels like. Its not an obsession (thoughts) or addiction (physical and mental) its something that makes you to act.

When I'm being compulsive I'm full of energy until after the sun comes up, an altered state.

So the question is how to manage the problem.

Medication and old age seems to help.

BTW I know what its like.

 

[Steven Miles]

Each visit to MP helps me a lot (especially visits without a high mileage).

 

[Happee]

It is becoming an addiction!

 

[charles w]

The more people are intelligent and knowledgeable the more they are able to say a bunch of crap and fool themselves. This socalled hobby is nothing but an addiction to sex. None of you can stop and never go back. You can rationalize it until tomorrow I dont care. Bottom line is, it is sex we are loking for and the women are there to provide it in exchange for money. This is a deviant behavior caused by some sort of psychological trauma we all suffered in one way or another at some point in our lives, most of us in childhood, some in their teens and some in their adult life. Genes play a role too for some.

So stop kidding yourselves and move on with your lives.

 

[dlyle76]

I think I became an addicted person.

 

[Tshilidzi]

I can see how it can be seen as an addiction - however.....
If the MP's are nameless and quick fix - they are an addiction. If tey are enjoyed and appreciated as a release - say like a fine glass of wine - it's a self-reward for the daily stresses we all face.
Been there doing that. I have had and completely conquered 2 major addictions in life - this is not that. Appreciating a beautiful woman and a memorable time - as the French say - a chaqu'un son gout. Choose your pleasures wisely, they won't become addictions.