How to deal with another student in my class???

[Mae B Jolly]

I am in school currently need some advise on what to do about another student . The student I am speaking of really agravates the h@*# outta me. I sometimes just feel like lashing out and make my feelings known to her,but I feel like I am to old to behave childish in that way. Sometimes I think it would be worth it just to get it off my chest. My problem is this, we will be graduating in July and this girl has only brought sheets to class one time. I know that she only brought the sheets that one time because we was having a practicum and she was using her husband . I think she should be required to bring her sheets and other equipment like the rest of us do. I get so disgusted when she wants to partner up with me,usually I avoid that by calliong and asking another student ahead of time because she always wants to buddy up with me. I am at the point to where I am gonna refuse to work with her until she brings sheets. The instructors do not seem to notice but I am gonna bring it to their attention. I am not snotty in any way ,I promise. This same student when we have massage always hopes on the table first regardless of who she partners up with. Her time comes to give the giver a massage she half way does it .
One day we was getting graded on our massage and of course she was my partner and I worked my butt off giving her a great massage. My turn came to receive she had enough nerve to ask me if I would get up and tell the teacher I did not want to do massage cause she did not wanna give me one. She has even left when it was her turn to give, this past Saturday she left after getting her massage telling the teacher her grandma had to go to cardiologist,and I promise their is no cardiologist open on Saturdays in this town. I know I should not let her bother me but I feel like I need to have a talk with the teacher,and the other students in our class do not wanna work with her either. I just hate to be a snitch,but I honestly do not know what else to do ? Any suggestions at what I should do???
Sorry this is so long I needed to vent I guess,and this has been building up over some time now.

 

[Manah]

is there enough students in your class to actively avoid partnering with her? you have obviously worked with her a few times already, and you could justify it by saying that you wish to work with as many bodies as you have access.

i don't know if your school takes a harder line on working with different partners, or what the sheets policy is. perhaps you can confide in an instructor that this gal is driving you batty.. ie. no sheets, not doing her part of exchanges, etc.
my school had strict policy for everyone to work with everyone, being prepared with all supplies, and participating on both sides of the table.... or you would not receive credit for that day's lessons.

hang in there.

 

[phillia]

A tricky situation indeed! If you say something directly to this girl be prepared, she will tell everyone what you said! I would avoid being partners with her as much as possible. If you are partnered up with her.....JUMP ON THE TABLE BEFORE SHE DOES! Give her a taste of her own medicine. At least in that respect.

Keep in mind, that when she doesn't give her best durring her massages and skips out all the time.....she is not going to be a very good MT. She's really working against herself. In the real world clients can tell if they aren't getting their money's worth and they will not come back! Not to mention, is she getting enough practice? I had similar students in my classes as well, they did not graduate with me.

If you're gonna say something I think it would be best to talk with your instructor. I know you may feel like you're snitching but the instructors are there to make sure that everyone is learning and getting all they can from the class. They may need to go over class rules again! Just make sure you stay adult about it all and speak directly to the point. Just be honest about what's going on and how it's effected you. Best of luck, keep us posted!

Steph!

 

[KindaNerdy:]]

I don't get it, if this girl is not bringing her own sheets, whose sheets are used when she is on the table? Please don't tell me that you use one set of sheets for both of you! Do you bring 2 sets of sheets? If she is always waiting for you to drag out your second set of sheets, I would just tell her that I didn't bring them, or I would say "You are to bring your own sheets, I'm not washing a second set of sheets if I don't have to." In our school, if a student came unprepared with sheets, they had points taken off for the day for being unprepared.

As for her getting work done on her and then leaving, it is unfair to you because you do learn when you are on the table receiving, as well as giving. I would speak to the instructor about this. Occasionally, it does happen that someone has to leave early, but if this girl does it on a regular basis and always when she is working with you? This is unfair.

I would definitely approach the teacher and say how all this is affecting YOU, and suggest it is probably affecting other students as well. It is surely affecting the girl who is doing it, but that is HER problem. She will be the therapist who is unprepared for the real world and will not be a good therapist. She is likely not to be working very long out in the field and this is not your problem.

 

[Dakota J]

I usually bring 2 sets of sheets because I know this will happen, but so does the other students also. SHe not only does this to me but others as well. I guess that is why noone wants to work with her. We have ten students in our class so when we pair up there is always someone that gets "stuck" with her. I have told her myself she needs to bring her own sheets and she just laughs about it. I know she has sheets because she told me at the first of the class,She had some government agency pay for her things she needed. I remeber her telling me that she has got them to pay for all this stuff that she really did not need to have. She said she had ordered 12 sets of sheets.
I had class yesterday which was Saturday. I was sitting in class and this same student starts kicking the crap outta the back of my chair,while lecture was going on. The teacher stopped because before I realized what I did I yelled at her in front of everyone. The teacher ask if she needed some assistance. She wanted me to give her piece of gum. Needless to say she did not get it. I did have a talk with the instructor yesterday about this. We was in the office part of the school talking privatly about this. I feel like this will be dealt with,but I will keep you updated on what happens . The instructor was running copies of handouts at the printer while we was talking about this. I look up and she was walking in the office . She walks in and just started pushing buttons on the printer and screwed up all those papers. She was chewed out for that. She walks back to the class room and said I do not know why she got so mad over that. I said she was trying to do something before you had to go sticking your hands in stuff where they was not needed. Well to make this story short I think she will be getting disiplined from the school for that and for kicking my chair in the middle of class.
I have talked to the other students and we all have agreed to not let her use our sheets. I have a feeling she will either fail class or bring her own things. I am like you all though. I think if she makes it till the end she will not pass the test for her liscense. I think if for some reason she does she will not have any repeat customers if she has any at all. Thanks for listening to my whining and groaning. I do feel much better since writing this and talking to an instructor.

 

[chicago bears 2009 (3-2)]

I can not even imagine having to deal with someone like that. You need to stick to your guns and stop giving in to her on the sheet issue. She sounds like a two year old instead of an adult. At my school if you forget your sheets you are forced to rent them for the day for 10.00. That nipped a few forgetful people in the bud right away.

 

[~just me~]

How old is this girl? 6? Is she some how impaired mentally? I really do hope the school takes some kind of action! Good golly!

Steph!

 

[colorprodigy]

Thanks everyone, for all the replys and suggestions. I needed just to get that off my chest and it really made me feel better once I did. I also used some of the suggestions I got. I also spoke with one of my instructors as I mentioned on my last post. I am so happy I graduate on July 22. I think it helps knowing that I have not got much more time left in school,even though I will miss all the others. I also will get a good break in there to. We get out from May 4th until the 22nd. You guys on here really need to know that all your suggestions and answers to all these questions really are very much appreciated,not only from my self and other students but also the others who lurk around just reading. This is a great thing here. I have not posted alot but I really have read evrything on the entire boards.I could never thank you all for the information I have gained, and the suggestions I have gotten.

[/i]

 

[Artman]

I have talked to the other students and we all have agreed to not let her use our sheets.

I think that you have been way too nice already. At my school this would not fly just as not giving a massage or leaving class early would not fly. In fact where I go if you cannot participate fully then you do not get credit. For example, I have a huge thing about my stomach - always have. I have had seven children and do not even let my husband touch my stomach and when it came time to practice stomach massage I was told "too bad." I had to participate and that is all that is to it - no exceptions.

Where are your instructors when this is all going on? Do they not see that she doesn't bring her own sheets? Why do all of you do it? You are aiding her in her childish behavior.

Michelle

 

[ani]

OOOOOOH, people like this really make my stomach churn. However, I believe that what goes around, comes around. She'll have nil in the repeat-client department if she ever does get off her butt to really pursue this - however, I doubt she'll have absorbed any technical knowledge with her skating.

Yay for talking to the instructors. You're paying to get a good education, and that does include RECEIVING massages in demonstrations, because it's important to actively 'listen' when receiving the strokes that you've been taught to fully absorb the knowledge, imo - and besides, yeah, it sucks to give and not receive, it's not fair regardless of how selfless you are - she's not pullin her weight in class! You're not paying tuition so that you can spend your time washing double-sheets to accommodate a slacker. :shock:

It sounds like you're still enthusiastic about the program, though. YAY! The worst thing would be if you let some annoying goober like that ruin your learning experience. Congrats on finishing!!!

 

[Pompal 09.]

I don't understand how she got away with doing those things. That would not fly in the school I'm attending. You either participate or you are sent home and do not get the hours.

As far as the sheets.... I wouldn't work with her. Period. I can understand maybe forgetting your sheets once, but all the time is unacceptable and it's awful that she jumps on the table first on someone else's sheets! I shared my sheets in class one time with someone and that's because she had a valid reason for not having them. I got on the table first and when it was her turn we turned the sheets inside out.

Anyway, good luck to you as your graduation approaches!

 

[Matt/16/Aus]

I shared my sheets in class one time with someone and that's because she had a valid reason for not having them.

That wouldn't even fly at my school. Whenever someone forgets their sheets they either lose time and have to go home or they have to get a massage through their clothes. There are no exceptions on that one. Personally I think if one wants to work in the profession then that person should be professional enough to remember their sheets. Makes you wonder what they will do with their clients? Will they forget sheets or not change them?

 

[kingers1988]

I am going thru the same thing. There is a girl in my class who is so negative, all she does is Female Dog about the other students or the teachers. She constantly follows me everywhere i go, constantly looks over my shoulder and copies my notes as I'm writing them, makes copies of homework or test corrections that take me hours to do, steals my ideas if I ever share them, comes to me for help on classwork and then takes credit for it when the teacher compliments HER! Why am I too nice? It's a curse. I love helping people but i hate them taking advaneforum.xxxe.

There's times where if we have a hard test, she wants me to sit next to her so she could look at my answers! So I intentionally come in late on test days so i don't have to deal with her which looks bad on my part. The way i rationalize it is that she has a way of getting people to listen to her, even me. I feel if i say something to her she'll bad mouth me to everyone and everyone would think I wasn't being my helpful self. I would probably tell her off if I wasn't worried about hurting her, there are times when i've called her lazy or a slacker and she would say she's not talking to me and have the nerve of being mad at ME. Plus I have to deal with this girl every day until I graduate.

I just don't wanna deal with the possibility of tension and drama in case i do say something because she already started turning the class against another girl(who by the way was cool with everyone) and now she's isolated and always alone. Sometimes i feel like i'd rather be alone and at peace rather than belong to my community of friends and feel miserable. Can anybody tell me how i should approach the situation? I'm trying to have the mind-set of an employee, how would I respond if this was a co-worker? I wanna put her in her place but i also wanna maintain being a professional, Any ideas?

 

[Adora]

My question to you is the girl that she has made an outcast, have you done the same to her? You stated that this girl is all alone, that is why I ask.
As far as what to do I would stop sharing ideas around this person if at all possible. Like you are already doing try avoid sitting by her.

Keep in mind too that the ones that cheat in class are only cheating themselves as they really are not learning anything.

 

[hassan]

No I sit with her and talk with her, but she made the choice to remove herself from everyone in response to being isolated from a select few. I guess it's better to keep away from everybody just to avoid drama. I mean this is school not a reality series, I could easily focus on my studies and avoid everybody but everyone comes to me, believe me I've tried. I'm reliable and like offering help, which i guess is a disadvaneforum.xxxe in my case. I'm getting sick of being the one everybody goes to for help or being used for their own gain. I don't mind helping everyone, it's just this one girl cuz she takes it so far. Tomorrow is my final and if she tries to do anything funny, I'm just going to have to set her straight once and for all. I wanted to avoid this because it would feel like i was starting the drama but from a different perspective i should see it as ending the drama. So wish me luck because I'm pretty sure I'll make some people angry at me which I think I'll be okay with. I need to put me first. Thanks all for your support.

 

[zenob8687]

Isn't it extraordinary that you get people on courses like ours who really aren't interested? I haven't found anyone as bad as these on either my massage course or my aromatherapy course, but there have been people who have made me wonder why they are there.
Maybe it's because I'm so elderly (52!) but I've taken both my courses (and my anatomy and physiology course) very seriously. They have all run in the evenings, when I have felt exhausted after a day at work, but I've been determined to take them seriously and make the most of them. So I'm amazed by fellow students who say things like "Oh do we have to massage tonight? I don't feel like it." Why have they come on ther course if they don't feel enthusiastic?
I don't know what the situation is in the States but my courses, in publicly-funded colleges, have been heavily subsidised (that's all about to change as they switch funding priorities to teenagers), so it's a shame if places don't go to those who will really make something of them.
As others have said above, though, there is at least the consolation that these people won't ever practise successfully. Which is exactly what my massage tutor once whispered to me in an aside about one particular fellow student...

 

[Here_comes_the_Sun]

Isn't it extraordinary that you get people on courses like ours who really aren't interested? I haven't found anyone as bad as these on either my massage course or my aromatherapy course, but there have been people who have made me wonder why they are there.
Maybe it's because I'm so elderly (52!) but I've taken both my courses (and my anatomy and physiology course) very seriously. They have all run in the evenings, when I have felt exhausted after a day at work, but I've been determined to take them seriously and make the most of them. So I'm amazed by fellow students who say things like "Oh do we have to massage tonight? I don't feel like it." Why have they come on ther course if they don't feel enthusiastic?
I don't know what the situation is in the States but my courses, in publicly-funded colleges, have been heavily subsidised (that's all about to change as they switch funding priorities to teenagers), so it's a shame if places don't go to those who will really make something of them.
As others have said above, though, there is at least the consolation that these people won't ever practise successfully. Which is exactly what my massage tutor once whispered to me in an aside about one particular fellow student...

Yeah, I just tell myself that energy like that will bite them in the butt in the end. it's true!

also, 52 is NOT elderly imo

 

[?Ridiculous~ Angel?]

: if 52 is elderly, then what is 55? Ancient? just kidding!!!

 

[Helpful Answers]

Well, they say you are only as old as the man/woman you feel - and tonight I'll certainly be feeling younger as I'm the oldest in my class!

 

["Princess"]

More seriously, another way that some students I know cheat themselves is when it comes to the case studies we have to carry out. I know for a fact that some of my fellow students haven't done all the case study massages they are supposed to have done - one of them openly boasted about it behind the tutor's back!
At the risk of sounding smug and goody-goody, I did all mine and although it was a huge effort fitting in dozens of treatments around my work and family commitments, I enjoyed the whole experience. Not only that, but I learnt LOADS. So it's a bit galling to see other students who couldn't be bothered to make the effort. I can understand students missing out one or two because of the problems of fitting clients in for a full course, but I'm not amused by others who make up case studies wholesale.
I'm not going to say anything. Apart from anything else, it would put my tutor in a very difficult position just a few days before the exams (and no doubt this happens all the time, so the "blind eye" is institutionalised). But it's irritating that some people are qualifying without learning as much as they are supposed to have done.
Still, as above, they are ultimately the ones who will lose out. It's no coincidence, I'm sure, that the worst offender is the one who is always complaining she can't get any clients for her massage business.