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International Rules of Manhood

ioeovuktiqliraerh

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Something I found on another forum.

International Rules of Manhood

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances.

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed
and eaten by his buddies.

4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out
of jail within 12 hours.

5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly
optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's
choice.

8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.

9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask
the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10. You may flatulent in front of a woman only after you have brought
her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and
only when it's free.

12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to
kick another guy in the nuts.

13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as
much as the other sports watchers.

17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
remain sober enough to fight.

18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
about his choice of beer.

20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,
except if she's withholding *** pending your response.

21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights.
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing.
i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer
than you are able to have *** with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey ***, the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the
discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for
her to drive yours.

26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,
orange or sky blue.

27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an
Xbox. End of story.

28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really
know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the
definition of each is listed below.

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are
you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass
and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion.

The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.
 
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  41. SpringGreen.:
    Spring Green Spa - 72 Gerrard St W. 2/Fl - 647-891-0699Today we have 5 girls on Friday:New jap tina 💋💋 :heart4 Diana - Tanned Spanish beauty with large melons and a fun booty too Wendy- exotic goddess with a gymnasts body and corresponding flexibility CiCi- Exotic beauty with great service and...
  42. Sparkling Spa:
    📣📣50 LOCKRIDGE AVE UNIT 8!! INTERNATIONAL GIRLS FOR A VARIETY OF APPETITES!!!📣📣 END YOUR WEEK 🍆🍑💧💧WITH A WILD TIME WITH🎌🎌 JAPANESE CHANEL🎌🎌 & 🇭🇰TAIWANESE ZOE 🇭🇰905-604-8186!!!
  43. Endless Joy Spa:
    ✨✨✨✨✨[GRAND OPENING]✨✨✨✨✨ 💞Endless Joy Spa💞 🎇 (155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565🎇10am-2am,New First Day Young Slim Sexy Thai Girl Janice, Slim Sexy Chinese Kiki,Tall Slim Sexy Chinese Kelly, Young Sexy Chinese Abie.
  44. Jenny’s Spa:
    🎉🍒JENNY’S SPA🎉🍒 ✅5170 DUNDAS STREET WEST✅ 👌ETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4👌 ☎️(647-893-5196)☎️Call or Text ☎️(437-888-3759)☎️Call Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅GRAND OPENING💯NEW GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥EXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNY’S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥TWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥REAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS💯💯💯 - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Anna😘- A stunning sexy girl from Hong Kong
  45. Annie Spa:
    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️(437) 818-8896☎️ ☎️(416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Bella 😘 is a beautiful Vietnamese busty girl, very sexy, with RMT style massage and very good playful service. So friendly, and nice. Summer ❤️ has nice sexy body, and nice breasts. She can give very good massage and fun service. Very s
  46. Moneylee:
    All season wellness center : New Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Michelle,young girl pretty face nice figure Thai deep massage Aad,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Yoyo,Young girl Big breasted saucy naughty Ella ,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Sherry 🏠address: #5-30 Rambler dr Brampton ,Ontario L6W 1E2☎️4376655510 👄👄🦵🦵🈵🈵👅👅
  47. Moneylee:
    Full season wellness center: New Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Cici , Young girl pretty face big boobs nice figure deep massage Jessica , young girl pretty face nice figure Thai deep massage Linda,Young beautiful face sexy body and good deep massage Maggie,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Mary . 🏠 2560 Shepard Ave Mississauga unit 1 ☎️ 4379857899 🦵🦵👅👅🈵🈵👄👄
  48. SunriseRH:
    FRIDAY at SUNRISE SPA: MICHELLE, LULU & SUMMER. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 27, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 647-325-8086 ☎️ HELEN is a young, slim & very sexy Vietnamese lady. She not only looks good, she IS good. LULU is a friendly and very sexy Vietnamese girl. She is a lot of fun, and can be wild at times. SUMMER is a sweet Asian babe, 5’3” with a captivating 36D-28-39 figure
  49. NewOriental:
    FRIDAY at 🍏💚NEW ORIENTAL SPA💚🍏: HAPPY, HELEN & PHOENIX. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 26, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 647-381-2688 ☎️ HAPPY is a slim Korean lady with great massage skills & lots of extra fun. HELEN is a young, slim & very sexy Vietnamese lady. She not only looks good, she IS good. PHOENIX is a gentle sweet Filipina lady, 5’4” and 105Lbs, with 34C-24-34 assets
  50. aaro_991:
    Athens ga
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