Letters FROM a bargirl.

[Breezy]

I'm not so sure that is true. In the 5 yrs I have been going there, the average age of BGs seems to be going up. From what I have heard barowners say, it is getting harder to recruit enough girls to fill the bars, and now they have to pay them a salary in many cases, whereas it use to be strictly commission only in beer bars.

The girl I spent a month with last winter was neither young nor beautiful. Yet she only worked 3 or 4 months in the bar before snagging a sponsor, and the last two of those months was pulling in over 50K per month. The younger, more beautiful girls didn't seem to be hurting her business at all.

 

[Violet Schuyler]

I stand corrected, very interesting, I am surprised.:star:

 

[mrggame]

:mdr: Is KAMALALA the location where Fantasea stay?

 

[Erica =)]

I think the short life of BGs is more a factor of 1)the emotional wear and tear, 2)wanting to have a normal life again, and 3)a lot of them finding sponsors or husbands/partners. The last girl I was with( 1 week in Pattaya), currently has 4 guys all wanting to get her a visa to go to their country.

I could be wrong, since I am only going by my observations, but this is what I have seen and heard. If a girl is 30 and beautiful, I think she will have nearly just as good a chance of finding a sponsor, husband, or BF, as a girl who is 21 and beautiful. Even the one who was 36 that I was with several years ago had guys constantly hitting on her, every time I turned my back on her, and she was not beautiful(not bad, either), but had an awesome body. She was not a BG or FL, but was frequently getting propositioned by guys offering her big money(which she refused).

 

[I love yanking your chain]

I sometimes wonder about the emotional wear and tear and whether they become immune after a while and turn into robots.
Or perhaps the culture differences mean a different attitude and approach to relationships.
An interesting conundrum.

 

[TomIsMe]

one girl i met was 32 and when i went to her bar one night she kept saying to me "you prefer young?"...she must have seen my wandering eyes
Her main moan was that the men preferred the younger girls!
I told her she was beautiful and only looked 25 (both being true) and that if asked her age she should say 25. But she wouldn't lie about her age which i thought was nice but nieve

 

[Eiginh]

Nice rundown, Dodger! Enjoyed your report on the coming season in Kamala, as well.

BTW, robots is not a term I would normally use in describing BGs, as it's not how I think of them, any of them. Which is why I put parentheses around the word in my post. Was merely commenting on Dennisinspain's post where he used the word to refer to them.

 

[Dr pushpinder k]

Dont you bring me into your argument and stop Dodger buying me a drink next week. Mine was a typo :whistle:

 

[Nancy L]

IMHO Thai girls are youthful longer (than farangs) ... even after having kids their bodies seem to snap back to shape (unlike farangs)

not much difference between one 25 or 35 to me ....

also maybe, as most farangs looking for LT love are 'middle aged' so would probably prefer a lady of aged 30+ to lessen the embarrassment of introducing new wife to the old family

H3X

 

[gwhizcat]

If they are in it for more than a few months, then they begin building psychological defense mechanisms, and this could eventually turn some of them into "robots," as you say. But doesn't being a robot eventually wear a person down, too? For most, I think it would at some point in time.

 

[Tricia]

No offence taken nor intended on my part JB, I know you meant no ill with the term and was just using it in my post to drop the seasoned bg into that category. I would use the same terminology to describe that type of girl as well.

Now Dennis post is seriously offensive, buying and drink in the same sentance with my name, phew!!!! going to have to go for a little lie down now!!

 

[Some Hot B*tch.]

I agree, but, b*gger the old family, like it or lump it, its my lifearty:

 

[Tony]

OK< OK, Ill buy the first round!

 

[Flyn]

You make a good point although Im not sure if the culture differences make the building of defences neccessary. Im not quite sure how the Thai's truly regard BG's as that would naturally have a bearing on the pressures the BG's are under.

 

[dramagirl]

I think they all commence bar work for a somewhat similar reason, lets simplify it and just say money. But I think they might have different agendas at the beginning, different beliefs and justifications.

After a period of time maybe some of these beliefs are squashed or lost, some girls seem to find solace in alcohol, some in yabba. Some only in my opinion, a small perceneforum.xxxe turn bitter, and those I now seem to spot from 50 yards. These are perhaps JB's 'robots referance'.

Most are looking for farang partner, and a large perceneforum.xxxe are succesful, if only for a short while, the successes and possibilities of even better successes can keep them going, as well as along the way a lot really enjoy partying at other people's expense.

Kamalala is gearing up now for the high season, every time I pop down town the bars are fuller with new girls all eager, all happy to sit waiting with no drink until customer eventually arrives. A lot of bar swopping going on at the moment, almost makes me think its like jockeying for position in a race, to ensure maximum exposure.

I see little changes in them over a period of time but there again I also see them change back as often as not, once in their secured relationship, so long term maybe not too much psychological damage, heck when you only live and think in nano seconds you can soon forget/revert back !!

 

[Brian J]

I guess that the hard shell you have managed to put up has some cracks in it mate. Its normal, dont worry.

 

[Tsquared]

Hang in their, Jim! It's tough, but as Dennis says "normal" under the circumstances. Unless you are living in LOS or bring the girl back with you, you will never really know what you have with her, and, when you think you have a real relationship, most of that is in your head. Even if you are sponsoring a girl, it is all a crap shoot, and unless a guy will be making the move or bringing her back soon, odds are it will end badly.

In Feb and Mar, I spent over a month with one girl. The last 10 days with her were so awesome, that I wondered if it wasn't love. I even thought about offering to sponsor her. And yet, there was a nagging feeling, a voice in the back of my head telling me something was amiss. But the sex was so great, she treated me so well, and we always had a great time when we went out together, that I asked myself what more can a guy want out of life. I just felt very satisfied and content with her(except for that dim, distant, barely audible voice in my head).

Fortunately for me, I had decided to spend my last two weeks in Pattaya. I might have even changed my mind, but she was scheduled to go to her village at the same time, so I went to Pattaya. As soon as I get to Pattaya, rather than feeling I missed her, much to my surprise, I felt incredibly relieved to be away from her, more relaxed. The spell was broken. In a few days in Patts, I met a girl who I instantly knew I liked better, because I felt so much more passion with her.

It was just lucky for me that I went to Pattaya, instead of straight home. If I had gone home, straight away, I probably would have missed her, on account of the lack of female companionship here, and because of missing the good times in LOS, which, in my mind, I would have been attached to being with her.

But, the thing is that when I got clear of her, and my thoughts were not muddled by sex, and by our closeness every day, then I realized that there was a very fine line between her having real emotions for me, and her just really treating me great because it was the money she was getting was so important for her, more money than she had ever dreamed of making. I am sure that she did like me, but really it was on the level of friends, and in a way, more truly on the level that an employee with a good job and a kind boss likes her boss. IMHO, she would have been a great secretary for me, and a good lover, but real love was not part of it. Because most of the TGs/BGs I have spent much time with in the past have been nut jobs, and did not always treat me well, it was easy to confuse love with good treatment/great sex.

The day we parted I was really sad, but on a deeper level, I was really quite puzzled by our relationship. When I was able to step back from her, and get a clearer view, then the parts of the puzzle all fell in place, and I could see the true picture. I was lucky that way. But sometimes it can be very hard to see things for what they truly are, and very easy to give in to the part of you that imagines that things are more than what they really are.

You have finally put the pieces together. In Dennis' letter, you saw the piece that had been missing. With that piece put in place, suddenly the picture became clear to you.

It's a learning process. The sudden realization, that things were not as they seemed to you, is painful. But before too long, it will just be a plaintive memory, and you will be better able to see things as they are in the future, and therefore, in the end, better off because of what you have experienced with her.

 

[finalmaster1234]

You make a good argument Dodgy, must pop into Kamalala to see if your right:whistle: es:

 

[: )]

Excellent reply Jaybee and well constructed analysis.

Wanted to say more myself but, I have not yet experienced the downside of a Thai relationship so am not qualified to advise and as I am moving to Penang in March will always be able to see gf whenever I want to, and without notice!

I do realise though that these relationships are littered with potholes and a strong constitution is needed to succeed.

Best of luck to you Gyma, I suggest a trip to Patong will blow the rest of your cobwebs away.

 

[Helping_Hand]

You lucky bastard!! :

You've got your eyes open then!

No better cure for a heartache!! :yipi: