Receiving massage from other students

[Dr Know-It-All]

There was a question on Intent posted on the Massage Techniques/Modalities portion of this board and I posted a question there that had to do with INTENT, but on further reflection, I am interested in other student's experiences of receiving massage from their classmates.Original post with answers is here:http://www.massageplanet.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl?board=mass_tech;action=display;num=1102794357Here's the question:What have been your experiences receving massage from your fellow students? Do you prefer to give or to receive? Why? What is the BEST thing about giving/receiving? What is the WORST thing about giving/receiving? What have you learned about yourself in the process of developing your touch?Thanks in advance for your thoughts!LaLoba

 

[Cora D]

Receiving massage from other students

 I think Listening is very important. I read the other thread. I would be upset if I were not listened to. Do others feel the same way? If they do, a confrontation with this person may be easier.Many of my classmates did not give me deep enough pressure because I'm short (automatically dainty?).  I am strong for my size and have a little extra meat around the thighs and glutes. Really needed more pressure. Did not want to be just "petted." I wanted gentle feedback on the massage I was giving. However, one man was giving me a massage and I tried to comment and he told me "this is MY massage and I don't want any comments. Just be quiet."  Wow! So, HIS massage did nothing for me. He was way too light. Others also felt he wasn't good. This same man ridiculed me for not being deep enough. I have since learned body mechanics and table height adjustment. He was unnecessarily mean about it, though.   Other students listened, adjusted and explored. I think they will have an easier time adapting to different clients.I like to both give and recieve. The best thing about giving is knowing you've helped someone. The best thing about receiving is knowing you've helped someone. You're someone, right? The worst, giving,  only happened once. Being dragged by his girlfriend, he just didn't want to be there, was uncomfortable and probably rebelling. The worst, recieving, well, not being listened to.I suppose I've learned to listen (and abdicate control). Okay, still learning. On listening, sometimes it's only thier view and has nothing to do with you. However, if enough different people tell you the same thing, maybe it is you. And then, you have the choice to sulk or the chance to say to yourself, if you choose to do so,  "what can I do to improve?"

 

[Johnson]

I used to like to give and recieve as well!  Reciving was the real treat though.  It was kind of a bummer when you got paired with someone who wasn't "quite up to par" when it came to pressure or technique. Depending on how well I knew the person depened on how, or IF I commented at all.

"However, one man was giving me a massage and I tried to comment and he told me "this is MY massage and I don't want any comments. Just be quiet."  

That guy was really something, huh?!  Sounds like he won't go too far in this field.  Feedback is soooo important, espically when you're a sutdent or new to this.Good topic!  ~Liz

 

[crazybaby]

Receiving massage from other students

During school, my teacher really liked my technique and said that I was very good for a student, that it seemed like I had been doing this for a while. She told me to help the other students and try to 'direct' them. I felt really uncomfortable doing so. I mean, they'd been in school for just as long as I had, what gave me the right to teach them to do better? Well, I helped out those who asked, but if they didn't ask, I didn't really help. As far as being paired up with a 'less than par' therapist, well, I didn't really mind. I just saw it as I wasn't there to get massage, I was there to learn. If the others didn't want to learn, no loss to me, just means I have another edge when I got out of school.

 

[meemeek]

I really loved to receive.  I still do.  I learn so much every time I get a massage.  Sometimes I learn good stuff, sometimes I learn what not to do.  But I learn none-the-less.  The one thing I made sure I did in school was to always give feedback.  It's the only way you get better.  It's not about being rude or hurting someones feelings...it's about being honest and looking out for the best interest of that person.

 

[Sad Mom]

I "study" some while receiving massage too. I wonder if sometimes I'm being too vigilant. I'm really not sure. Does it matter her stomach's touching me? How much does that nail really hurt? I do end up trying to make sure my body parts don't touch and my nails don't poke. On the other hand, the end result is:  this person "healed" me better than the last and now I feel/move better.  I've learned from other jobs also, what not to do; how not to treat people.On occassion, I will ask a non-paying client, what did you like best about the massage? What is something I can improve on?  I think most people are pretty lenient in their response. Yogi, yeah, other students thought he was a jerk, too. And, didn't like his massage, go figure!

 

[Donna]

Receiving massage from other students

I have told you one student story...here is another...we were practicing deep tissue...I was the willing victim ...the instructor used a finger that dropped me to my knees...he was very sorry and I went home you should have seen my back...he must have hit a nerve...my back was inflamed with red lines across it ???...the pain only lasted a few days...my point is this...I was in school...I was there to learn and even trained pros make mistakes...it is how you handle it that makes a difference...working on people you learn there is no 'quick fix'...the student should listen to you...you also should make sure to speak plain but, gentle...this is hard because mistakes can mean much pain...I feel that session with the teacher taught me how careful I need to be with my clients..in school we are all very nervous as we are learning something new...I understand you see his reaction but what would have happened if you were him...unsure and trying something new...trying to remember all these new rules...would your reaction be the same if you had made a mistake...in school it is hard to remember, when in pain, that the person who put us in pain did not do so with the intent on hurting us but, mores the case of inexperience...

 

[Pompal 09.]

While I do ( and still do! ) enjoy receiving, I think that I like to give better. It is at those times when I learned that not everyone has the same tolerance level as I do. It also helped me realize what I had and had not learned, what I needed to relearn or practice, and where I learned I could go further than what I thought I was capable of. While I am not a student in school any more, I have to say that we are always learning in our profession!  ;D

 

[lynneZ]

My Massage Therapist: a fellow student, (WE JUST WALKED IN GRADUATION NOT TOO LONG AGO)is the Bomb in Deep Tissue!!! I finished classes in October and he just finished 2 weeks ago.He and I plan to trade massage and right now are in the same line of work, which happens to really work one's muscles,...Massage from other students (if they listen well and are attentive when your body talks back to TOO MUCH pressure and encourages breathing and whatnot) is AWESOME...It allows you to experience what they have in their trunk of massage knowledge and allows them, in turn, to receive from you.  I think there is a benefit from it if they are truly desirious to give and receive and LISTEN too!!!

 

[Pompal 09.]

Receiving massage from other students

Every time I get together to exchange, I learn something new. Even with the "not quite up to par's", there is something to learn...what it feels like when something isn't quite right, and also how to speak up when something doesn't feel good (that's a challenge all by itself!). I've learned some great moves from people I never would have thought I could learn from. They just did something a little different that felt great. And then there are those whos chops are way advanced from mine. It's hard sometimes to process what they are doing, but usually a question or two helps. I like both sides, giving and receiving. It's nice to have the balance of working and then receiving a nice massage...nothing like instant gratification!I think the more difficult aspect is less about the hands on stuff, and more about the psychological stuff. I had one person be an hour and a half late. She called a couple of times to let me know what was up, but it was still pretty provocative. We ended up deciding that because of the timing she would work on me, since she needed practice time, but I would just receive. In the end it felt ok, although I will definitely think twice about working with her in the future.

 

[barbara mori]

I attended school every wknd while working full time M-F.  It was tempting to just lay around like a slug and receive, but I knew I would only get out of it what I put into it.  Actually, I learned more from the bad massages I got than from the good ones.  I still remember those "school massages" 8 years later.

 

[yorkielover :]]

I haven't really enjoyed getting massages from my fellow students. They always want to be the receivers rather than the givers because they always seem to be hurting - either their back hurts, arms hurt, they're tired, etc. We were an uneven number most of the months in class so most of the time there would always be one student who would be a giver twice each class period without being the recipient. Since I'm the "class mom" (the other students are half my age), and all the other students were eager to be worked on, I let them. Probably 90% of the time I have been the one to give 2 massages, and have rarely been the receiver. Never, not once, did any one ever say something like "Oh, you haven't had a massage in a while, you should be a receiver this time."Oh well, I figured I was getting twice the practice than anyone else. It is nice, however, to know how certain strokes feel.One student was transferred out of our class recently and we're back to an even number. We no longer give massages each class period as we're learning different things, but when we do, I find that I almost don't want a massage. The other students complain even as they are working on me, i.e. "I don't feel good", "Can we go home early . . . I'm really tired now," "My hands hurt", etc. After a few minutes I finally tell whoever it is not to worry about finishing. I don't want them to hurt themselves. Besides, it does NOT feel good to receive a massage when you know the person giving you a massage doesn't feel good, or for whatever reason, does not want to be giving a massage.P.S. Unfortunately, the only student in our class who actually enjoyed giving massages, hence I loved getting a massage from them, is the student that had to transfer to another class.  :-/

 

[idk]

Receiving massage from other students

Samantha, don't your instructors comment on this? It seems to me that students who aren't taking advaneforum.xxxe of the oppurtunity to put their hands on other students in a learning environment are missing out in a huge way! I would also say that half the learning experience is understanding what a move feels like, and the only way to know that is to have people work on you.

 

[McBraas]

Receiving massage from other students

I haven't really enjoyed getting massages from my fellow students. They always want to be the receivers rather than the givers because they always seem to be hurting - either their back hurts, arms hurt, they're tired, etc. We were an uneven number most of the months in class so most of the time there would always be one student who would be a giver twice each class period without being the recipient.

Samantha,

I lived through something similar to your situation and learned a lot about myself in the process.  

We were an odd number the first term.  I was always in a 3some and therefore would give more than I would receive.  Later someone dropped and we were even. Fortunately for our class,  ??? , there were 1/2 who preferred to give and 1/2 who preferred to receive.  That worked pretty well for a term. The givers would give a thorough massage and practice all the protocols and the receivers would give a quicky massage to the givers at the end of class.  Fair, no not really, but we were all working in our comfort zones.  Some find it easy to give and some find it easy to receive.

As part of my growth process in school, I am learning to ask for bodywork when we swap.  It was really hard for me to do, and I learned a lot about myself when I thought about all the reasons it is so hard for me to ask for something.  One of the first times I asked, I was stunned by my partner's response.  A student told me (after I asked for something in addition to the protocol) "You've had enough and if we don't swap now, I won't get my full time on the table." This was someone who I have spent hours working on and who has barely worked on me.

This could be seen as petty, but when  I view it in the larger, learning context of life, this has been a huge opportunity for me to give with a generous heart, learn to receive gracefully, understand that there are some who are more needy, and some who find it hard to ask for help.

We are almost done and I am counting down the labs where we work on each other! I can't wait to be done with that part.  I love working on clients in clinic and love working on family and friends at home.  And I definitely love receiving massage from awesome bodyworkers.  I have been seeing someone on my days off from school and that $$$ spent has been well worth it. In addition to helping my body adjust to the physical changes and demands of this profession, she has also offered spiritual and emotional support for this journey.

On a happy note! There is one woman in my class who started out as kind of spacy and definitely a receiver.  She is now an incredible bodyworker! I love to receive from her and our exchanges are wonderful - we give what we have and ask for what we need.  It isn't at all equal, but measured by what is going on in our lives at the time. BTW she is half my age

Best wishes Samantha!

Listen to your heart and learn from both giving and receiving.

LaLoba

 

[So slick.]

don't your instructors comment on this? It seems to me that students who aren't taking advaneforum.xxxe of the oppurtunity to put their hands on other students in a learning environment are missing out in a huge way!

I agree with you, Merlescuz. We've only had one massage teacher for the past 6 months. No, the instructor hasn't said anything - he's seems oblivious to the fact that I'm a giver 90+% of the time.  When I am a receiver, it's not too much fun anyway, because the students always make it clear that they don't feel good, are tired, etc.  For example, the other day I did Shiatsu on my partner for over an hour. After I finished, she asked me if I could do some specific work on her back because she was really hurting. So I worked on her for another 20 minutes, then told her she really needs to practice. She worked on me for about 20 minutes. She just traced out the meridians and basic flow - didn't really do any strokes. She said "I'm sorry, I know this isn't really a massage. I'm just trying to get the flow down and my back really hurts."The other teachers see this. The clinic supervisor is frustrated at the continual complaining. Our anatomy teacher doesn't let anyone off the hook for complaining. It started in his class last night and he countered with his usual lecture about how they need to take better care of themselves because they are always sick or hurting.Once or twice a month I pay $$ to get a professional massage. I'd get one more often, if I could afford it.

 

[Meep Zorp]

Receiving massage from other students

Hi Samantha,Sorry you had that type of situation in your school. I was 55 (last year) and the youngest was 18 with various ages . My school was in California. We never experienced anyone not wanting to give. Everyone was so generous.If we had one short you got two people working on you.  Or the instructor jumped in to help with that if  necessary.It would not even be considered to have someone work and not receive. I had one girl who had wrists that were always hurting and if you suggested she rest shewould not hear of it so I would always tell her to go light and not strain herself and when It was her turn to receive  I would put extra time into that area for her. Of course that was the "Mom" talking. I was definitely the Mom in the class but I never felt any age difference (except in my joints). We always switched partners in each class and most of the massages I got were excellent. We always gave each other good constructive feedback. It was a great learning experience. Most of us have good points and something we can probably do better. I always felt like we were so close in all of my classes students and instructors alike. Everyone wanted to be there and gave their all.It was such a great positive experience for me especially starting this at my age. I only have the best memories of my school.Regards,Barbara

 

[Janet W]

We are almost done and I am counting down the labs where we work on each other! I can't wait to be done with that part.  I love working on clients in clinic and love working on family and friends at home.  And I definitely love receiving massage from awesome bodyworkers.  I have been seeing someone on my days off from school and that $$$ spent has been well worth it. In addition to helping my body adjust to the physical changes and demands of this profession, she has also offered spiritual and emotional support for this journey.

LaLoba, it sounds like we are in similar places. I also love working on clients in the clinic, and on family and friends. I used to love working on the other students and was more than happy to give them massages outside of class when they'd call me for an extra massage. Six months into our program, though, it now seems to drain me to work on the other students. I didn't mind being the "mother" for a while and always giving, trying to help the others feel good. I think I now understand what one of my other teachers meant months ago when he was giving a lecture on business. He said you always need to have some kind of exchange. He said that people in the healthcare profession often feel like they should "give" their services away. If someone can't afford our services, then we should come up with some kind of exchange that we feel good about.  He told us that if we are always giving without receiving, we'll eventually become drained - not just financially, but energetically, as well. And we won't last in our profession.Of course, there are always exceptions to this rule. I believe it's a good idea to volunteer a certain percent of our services to someone/a group/the community who needs it with no expectation of return.I also have a dear MT friend who is supporting me spiritually and emotionally in my journey, which I very much appreciate. She can understand where I'm coming from, too, because she was in a similar situation in her class. The support from fellow MT students and therapists, like you, on this board is also very helplul and appreciated!My best wishes to you in your continuing journey!- Samantha

 

[Observer]

We never experienced anyone not wanting to give. Everyone was so generous. If we had one short you got two people working on you.  Or the instructor jumped in to help with that if  necessary.

(I just learned how to use the quotes and am having fun with them!)Barbara, I'm so glad it was that way for you in your class. I quite like the other students in my class (I only have 3 fellow classmates now - we lost two along the way). I think my challenges in my class come from a combination of personality types as well as the massage therapy instructor. From time to time, we've had a guest teacher who insists on even exchanges so everyone gets a fair trade - and if the students start to complain, they are reminded that they need to center and focus. . . and that we need to leave our pains and problems outside. In time, I'm sure the girls will be great therapists. I really don't care to have them work on me now, though, because it's evident that they don't "feel like" giving a massage. So when they do work on me, and they complain about their back, arms etc, I tell them to just go as light as possible and finish early. I don't want them to hurt themselves. Nor can I relax and enjoy the massage knowing that they don't feel good.Where are you taking your exam tomorrow? Are you taking it in Las Vegas?- Samantha

 

[gfuigfilguli]

Yep. Right in Las Vegas at 8:00 a.m.  I have no choice not to pass on "April Fool's Day", especially after the fiasco on March 16th. I think the attitude of those girls is indicitive of their nature and that will proabably never change. I am sure their client's will be able to sense that in the future. They sound like they are too into themselves. Even if you have the best "technique", etc. the other aspect is what makes you a great therapist.Regards,Barbara

 

[tash]

Receiving massage from other students

In our school we pair up and first 50 minutes we give one then second 50 minutes we switch and recieve one.I prefer to give for some reason or another not sure why. I also mentally take notes while recieving one. What felt good , what I need to NOT do. I have had some painful ones and some ok ones, not really had an awesome one yet but I think it's because I am too busy trying to learn from what they are doing instead of just letting myself go with it.I always tell my partner please tell me if somthing is wrong or if there's somthing you really enjoyed. I say to them that it's important we tell each other and not take it as a bad thing to make us better. Our clients will never tell us it was awful they just won't come back.Everyones been real good so far.Also if someone tells you somthing wasn't so great it doesn't mean you should drop it. someone else may LOVE it. But if a couple people mention it, heed their warnings and don't use that technique anymore or find how it needs to be adjusted.All in all I'd rather my fellow students tell me I am doing somthing wrong then lose a client because I was unaware I had a bad technique.