Close Encounters of the Third Kind
FR Value : 1/10
How Sai Baba saved me at Sai Darbar?
I and a friend recently went to Sneha. The upper side was full so got down and walked around to Sai Darbar. This was my first visit to Sai Darbar. The place was awfully dark. I couldn't see a thing. The waiter over there helped us find a seat. Hardly had we settled in when a group o bouncers accosted me. I didn't know what had gone wrong. Of course, I was impressed to see that a bar in India had appointed female bouncers. This must be a new Gender equality milestone.
I sheepishly asked them what had gone wrong? After a brief conversation I realized that these females were not bouncers. They were the Bar Girls.
I avoided letting anyone sit by making some excuse. But the girls persisted with the tenacity of an Insurance agent. Realizing that I did not have much choice, I let the typical desi mindset take over and chose the fairest one among them all.
The girl sat and the other bouncers vanished. The girl immediately raised her dress and made her stuff available to me. As my hands began feeling, I realized that she had the largest boobs my hands had ever touched. Instinctively, my fingers started groping for her nipples. But strangely enough I could not find any. I searched frantically. But the elusive nipple was not to be found. The boob too was unusually large and never-ending. Suddenly, my fingers encountered some strange contour on her smooth skin. As my fingers explored it, I was shocked. The nipple was inverted inside instead of protruding outwards.
I suddenly realized that this was not a human boob. A distinct shiver ran down my spine. What was it that lay in my arms veiled under the garb of darkness? It definitely wasn't a female of my species. Was it a mutant? Was it an alien? Could it be carnivorous? Then she asked me "Lodge pe chalega kya?".
I began shaking. It was obviously trying to lure me to a more secluded area where she can kill me an dine on my meat. My fingers had frozen inside the inverted boob. The creature in my arms sensed something. It squeezed my hand and pulled it out and said "Bembi ko mat haath lagao na. Gudgudi hota hai". What's a Bembi, I thought?
And then there was a divine intervention. The lights came on. A Sai Baba Aarti began. Who does a Sai Baba aarti inside a Service Bar? But there it was. The lights illuminated everything. I looked down and realized that the nipple I had in hand was not really a nipple. It was her Navel. Bembi probably in Bangla maybe. A closer inspection revealed that the girl was so perfectly out-of-shape that her neck, boobs and belly had merged into a single mound of flesh. Everything from neck to hips was indistinguishable.
But it did not matter. The sentient being in my arms was still human. I was safe. It was a miracle. Sai Baba had saved the day for me. I gave the "thing" a Rs. 500 note and jauntily sprinted out of Sai Darbar deciding never to return again. Sai Baba may not come to my rescue every time.