I am out

[I❤️SPAs]

Before I start, I want to make it clear this isn't a morality piece, nor do I mean to influence anyone else, or to somehow make anyone feel less about themselves. Because that would be hypocritical and that's not me. This is just my recent story, that's all it is. But yes as the title of the post says, I am out, done with visiting massage parlors.

Here is what started it. Late-December I went to a massage place. Don't ask me where or names because that isn't the point, and I won't share. The girl turned out to be a Chinese foreign student at an Ontario college and young, early 20s, and pretty. After the massage, she asked if I wanted sex and I said yes. So she undressed and was standing there naked. And I couldn't do it, she could have been my daughter standing there. Just felt incredibly sorry all of a sudden. So I paid her and we just chatted for a bit and I left. I'm sure she is working still and most probably she's not nearly as bothered about it, as I was.

But since than, I have stopped, I got fed up with myself. Not just what happened with that girl, but also this never ending up and down cycle of having fun for an hour, go home, and than the itch starts again, until the next visit. I'm much more busy with hobbies, started going out Saturday nights, and generally feeling a lot happier. Will I go back ? Like any addiction, it always will linger. But I have not smoked in 25 years so perhaps this isn't so difficult after all.

"I couldn't do it, she could have been my daughter standing there. Just felt incredibly sorry all of a sudden"

Not sure I understand where you are coming from and I have to ask ~ Is the upsetting factor she could have been your daughter?

You must know there are many men on here in their 60s, 70s and beyond that likely have daughters in their late 30s, 40s and 50s.
Is 30s or 40s acceptable for you? What is the cutoff? Also, every girl/woman you've had sexual pleasure with for money is in fact somebody's daughter.

Reality is 20 something females are designed to make your cock hard and your brain mush so you will inject them with semen and propagate the species - that, my friend, is the prime directive.

Don't be so hard (no pun intended) on yourself - you are helping her financially and she is providing you with pleasure without the expense of child rearing! If you feel she was acting out of desperation or is being manipulated into providing sexual services, well, that is a whole different story!

I wish you the best in whatever you decide for your future habits but I don't think you should consider a sex workers age as long as they are in compliance with legally sanctioned norms!

 

[luvthe drake]

what older women?
majority can barely take a pounding, cant handle big dicks, complain too much, are worn out and have too many miles on their body.

City is cooked.

Ya..we need to colozize mars..there could be fresh produce there

 

[luvdafurburger]

If I ever even had a Spidey sense I was exploiting a reluctant girl they would be no way and I 100% can see why the OP might have been creeped out. Kudos to the OP to dip from that situation.

But if it's a different issue it might be a sign to check out completely.

If it's an out of control addiction, It's not easy and like most addictions they are usually driven in the direction until they become a problem, and for some, their downfall. This game can certainly take a man's soul if you head onto a dark route.

Unfortunately, it can do exactly the same for our lady friends.

I was talking to a boss years ago about one of her most popular attendants and she told me she had quit and moved on from the industry because she wanted to focus on finding a guy who was looking for a real commitment and realized a quality one wouldn't be with any of us pervs. She obviously was also looking to bury her skeletons and move on. She did actually quit...for a year or two. Now she's been back at it for a few years.

How many times has this industry crushed a girl's dreams and goals too? Probably as many or more than customers. They just have different things they're looking for, and even the material Gucci bag collectors surely find that pursuit hollow eventually. I don't want to contribute to that. There is definitely sketchy shit going on, but I don't play in that league. It does disgust me especially because I don't like anyone being a victim of exploitative practices. Unfortunately the media only picks up the "squeaky wheel" cases so the stigma of the industry being inundated with creeps and victims persists and is prevalent.

But I'm not looking for things from this game I can't have because that would be a ticket to fail.

Like all dark paths, when we taunt them, they can bite back. Keeping things like gambling, drugs, alcohol, sex is so important....all can and will push you over and into the waterfall until you drown. So don't light a match if you can't keep the fire in control or put it out.

As long as I'm not part of the problem I'm going to have fun...but I've made mistakes in the past. Hopefully guys won't make the same ones I did, but it's in the control of the individual to use his head on the top floor.

Hope it doesn't come off as a long rant. It's hopefully more of a precautionary tale, especially to the younger guys and the result of some damn good gummies. Please give me a signal if I'm on drunk-ass Spawarrior turf

But Gentlemen keep your eyes on the road and in control of your vehicle, because not paying attention will put you in the ditch...and maybe in a flaming fucking wreck.

Happy, safe, and fair hobbying at whatever level you partake.

 

[boeing707]

Thanks for all feedback, always appreciated. Just to clarify this is a personal decision based on what I mentioned in the original post, it doesn't nescessarily reflect the women's point of view. I can say that virtually all of the sex workers in the massage business hate their work. But they are in a catch 22 situation where their families back home, specially now more than ever given the economic climate in China depend on them to send money. So yes they hate their work but none will voluntarily quit nor do they want us to stop visiting because of financial reasons. For me, late December was just the point where it all came to a halt. Not just because of the girl. I found myself in an endless cycle, where throughout the week, you start to think about the next visit, to the point where it becomes unhealthy. Visit the massage parlor and after an hour, back on the street, thinking, this is it, no more, until a few hours later you already start to plan again. I had to break that pattern.

 

[sinistarglobal]

what older women?
majority can barely take a pounding, cant handle big dicks, complain too much, are worn out and have too many miles on their body.

City is cooked.

Ahhh... Not sure I would agree with this completely. Check out some of the slightly older talent at Lulu/See You/older MPAs at Premier. Still in really good shape and no complaints from them.

 

[peaceofmind]

Thanks for all feedback, always appreciated. Just to clarify this is a personal decision based on what I mentioned in the original post, it doesn't nescessarily reflect the women's point of view. I can say that virtually all of the sex workers in the massage business hate their work. But they are in a catch 22 situation where their families back home, specially now more than ever given the economic climate in China depend on them to send money. So yes they hate their work but none will voluntarily quit nor do they want us to stop visiting because of financial reasons. For me, late December was just the point where it all came to a halt. Not just because of the girl. I found myself in an endless cycle, where throughout the week, you start to think about the next visit, to the point where it becomes unhealthy. Visit the massage parlor and after an hour, back on the street, thinking, this is it, no more, until a few hours later you already start to plan again. I had to break that pattern.

Thanks for making this post, it's very illuminating and great to hear @luvdafurburger's excellent points too. The girls who are in this clearly have their own reasons and we can only hope that our spidey senses catch their body language and whether or not they are willing.

From our perspectives, the last part is particularly important. It does become a pattern and it's invariably the case that I find myself thinking "who should I try next". It starts off as a harmless hobby but we all need to look internally and come to that balance as to what we want out of this, and not go overboard and seek shallow gratifications on an endless basis. In moderation, most things are fine.

 

[sinistarglobal]

If I ever even had a Spidey sense I was exploiting a reluctant girl they would be no way and I 100% can see why the OP might have been creeped out. Kudos to the OP to dip from that situation.

But if it's a different issue it might be a sign to check out completely.

Well said. I will take it a step further. If it is clear to me the lady is not at all enjoying the session I will shut it down. Some are very good actresses, most passable...
If the vibe is they don't really want to be there they probably don't. I must say in my (few) years of experience most of these the ladies are gone within a few months....

 

[Jumpin’ Jack Flash]

I wish you the best. I've been there myself, more than once.

There certainly are lots of times this "hobby" doesn't feel like a hobby anymore. Kudos to you for knowing yourself and trusting your feelings and pulling back.

After a rejuvenation of sorts for myself, I have lost the fun of the constant search for something that I dont even know what it is that I am looking for. Sticking to my few favs now, and thats it.

Cheers

The faves are the comfort zone. There’s the excitement of getting some ‘Strange’ now and then.

 

[Mav]

If I ever even had a Spidey sense I was exploiting a reluctant girl they would be no way and I 100% can see why the OP might have been creeped out. Kudos to the OP to dip from that situation.

But if it's a different issue it might be a sign to check out completely.

If it's an out of control addiction, It's not easy and like most addictions they are usually driven in the direction until they become a problem, and for some, their downfall. This game can certainly take a man's soul if you head onto a dark route.

Unfortunately, it can do exactly the same for our lady friends.

I was talking to a boss years ago about one of her most popular attendants and she told me she had quit and moved on from the industry because she wanted to focus on finding a guy who was looking for a real commitment and realized a quality one wouldn't be with any of us pervs. She obviously was also looking to bury her skeletons and move on. She did actually quit...for a year or two. Now she's been back at it for a few years.

How many times has this industry crushed a girl's dreams and goals too? Probably as many or more than customers. They just have different things they're looking for, and even the material Gucci bag collectors surely find that pursuit hollow eventually. I don't want to contribute to that. There is definitely sketchy shit going on, but I don't play in that league. It does disgust me especially because I don't like anyone being a victim of exploitative practices. Unfortunately the media only picks up the "squeaky wheel" cases so the stigma of the industry being inundated with creeps and victims persists and is prevalent.

But I'm not looking for things from this game I can't have because that would be a ticket to fail.

Like all dark paths, when we taunt them, they can bite back. Keeping things like gambling, drugs, alcohol, sex is so important....all can and will push you over and into the waterfall until you drown. So don't light a match if you can't keep the fire in control or put it out.

As long as I'm not part of the problem I'm going to have fun...but I've made mistakes in the past. Hopefully guys won't make the same ones I did, but it's in the control of the individual to use his head on the top floor.

Hope it doesn't come off as a long rant. It's hopefully more of a precautionary tale, especially to the younger guys and the result of some damn good gummies. Please give me a signal if I'm on drunk-ass Spawarrior turf

But Gentlemen keep your eyes on the road and in control of your vehicle, because not paying attention will put you in the ditch...and maybe in a flaming fucking wreck.

Happy, safe, and fair hobbying at whatever level you partake.

Well said sir.

 

[krayjee]

Before I start, I want to make it clear this isn't a morality piece, nor do I mean to influence anyone else, or to somehow make anyone feel less about themselves. Because that would be hypocritical and that's not me. This is just my recent story, that's all it is. But yes as the title of the post says, I am out, done with visiting massage parlors.

Here is what started it. Late-December I went to a massage place. Don't ask me where or names because that isn't the point, and I won't share. The girl turned out to be a Chinese foreign student at an Ontario college and young, early 20s, and pretty. After the massage, she asked if I wanted sex and I said yes. So she undressed and was standing there naked. And I couldn't do it, she could have been my daughter standing there. Just felt incredibly sorry all of a sudden. So I paid her and we just chatted for a bit and I left. I'm sure she is working still and most probably she's not nearly as bothered about it, as I was.

But since than, I have stopped, I got fed up with myself. Not just what happened with that girl, but also this never ending up and down cycle of having fun for an hour, go home, and than the itch starts again, until the next visit. I'm much more busy with hobbies, started going out Saturday nights, and generally feeling a lot happier. Will I go back ? Like any addiction, it always will linger. But I have not smoked in 25 years so perhaps this isn't so difficult after all.

I just hope it was not the same young girl I talked her out of this business about 2 months ago. She's about 5' tall around 95 lbs with glasses on. I told her this business is like a trap, once you got in, very hard to get out cuz money is so easy and won't be able to work regular jobs any more. I told her to think it over seriously before she comes back to work the following Monday. She came over for interview Saturday afternoon, tried out 2 customers and made 350. She sent me a message Sunday night saying she couldn't do this job and quit. I was so happy for her after that. She told me she only wanted to do massage and no happy ending. So I doubt that it was her. She was a 3 rd yr university student .

Post #3757 East Beaver thread.

 

[Jumpin’ Jack Flash]

I just hope it was not the same young girl I talked her out of this business about 2 months ago. She's about 5' tall around 95 lbs with glasses on. I told her this business is like a trap, once you got in, very hard to get out cuz money is so easy and won't be able to work regular jobs any more. I told her to think it over seriously before she comes back to work the following Monday. She sent me a message Sunday night saying she quit. I was so happy for her after that. She told me she only wanted to do massage and no happy ending. So I doubt that it was her. She was a 3 rd yr university student .

That’s like the responsible fisherman throwing back the little fish

 

[Mav]

The faves are the comfort zone. There’s the excitement of getting some ‘Strange’ now and then.

It’s true, but when you aren’t getting the feeling you chase with strange, comfort needs to break that cycle. Chasing the strange without purpose, just for the sake of doing it, only asks for trouble. It is difficult to recognize this and know when to stop. It’s happened to me and made me hate myself, and this hobby. It’s never the girls fault, it’s always my own personal agenda. Like mentioned, it is an addiction, but with practice and learning, can become manageable.

I commend @boeing707 for his post. Sounds like a good time to take a breather, if it just isn’t doing you any good at the moment.

And @luvdafurburger has some great points. This hobby can have some serious highs and devastating lows. Be careful, play wisely, trust your gut and listen to your big head more than your small one, and you’ll be ok.

 

[luvdafurburger]

I just hope it was not the same young girl I talked her out of this business about 2 months ago. She's about 5' tall around 95 lbs with glasses on. I told her this business is like a trap, once you got in, very hard to get out cuz money is so easy and won't be able to work regular jobs any more. I told her to think it over seriously before she comes back to work the following Monday. She sent me a message Sunday night saying she quit. I was so happy for her after that. She told me she only wanted to do massage and no happy ending. So I doubt that it was her. She was a 3 rd yr university student .

Wow Krayjee!

If true, and of course you can understand justifiably with your track record why I and most here would be reluctant to believe you, that would certainly have been a good thing on your part.

No one should be in this game if they can't foresee and handle the real cost.

 

[Jumpin’ Jack Flash]

I’m generally pretty happy with things as they stand. I don’t need to see anyone and oftentimes I just don’t feel like visiting anyone and I don’t. Last I checked our money doesn’t expire… yet. Whether I’m in the mood for a good massage or something more, I just do it and seldom have any regrets.

 

[sinistarglobal]

I can say that virtually all of the sex workers in the massage business hate their work.

Firstly -- love all the discussion this thread has resulted in. Refreshing on here.

I would respectfully disagree with this and have seen at least 100 individual MP's over the years. Would very much appreciate the more experiences mongers to weigh in.
Many of us don't love our jobs, but that is what they are. Do most of these women "hate" their jobs more than they might if they worked in an Amazon fullfillment centre or worse in China... Really???

Not at all trying to be argumentative with OP. Once again, I really appreciate this kind of dialogue.

 

[peaceofmind]

Firstly -- love all the discussion this thread has resulted in. Refreshing on here.

I would respectfully disagree with this and have seen at least 100 individual MP's over the years. Would very much appreciate the more experiences mongers to weigh in.
Many of us don't love our jobs, but that is what they are. Do most of these women "hate" their jobs more than they might if they worked in an Amazon fullfillment centre or worse in China... Really???

Not at all trying to be argumentative with OP. Once again, I really appreciate this kind of dialogue.

I think the level to which they are ok with or hate their job depends on the level of service. Girls who set their limits (HJ and topless only) seem to be cheerful and last a long time in this industry. And that could be viewed as a more "fulfilling" job than chopping meat on a conveyor belt or packing cardboard boxes in an alibaba fulfilment center in China.

It's when things get darker, and they are encouraged/coerced to include sex as part of their menu even though they may not want to, that's what could lead to them hating the job.

 

[luvdafurburger]

Firstly -- love all the discussion this thread has resulted in. Refreshing on here.

I would respectfully disagree with this and have seen at least 100 individual MP's over the years. Would very much appreciate the more experiences mongers to weigh in.
Many of us don't love our jobs, but that is what they are. Do most of these women "hate" their jobs more than they might if they worked in an Amazon fullfillment centre or worse in China... Really???

Not at all trying to be argumentative with OP. Once again, I really appreciate this kind of dialogue.

Anyone that works or worked with the public knows there's a lot of cunts they have to deal with. I feel their pain. That's the service industry. There's are effective techniques they should share amongst themselves to address that problem. And it would be great if some customers weren't dickheads.

I just don't contribute to their bad day. I leave them with a smile on their face because I give them what they want...and I happen to also have a smile on my face because they "take care of my issues".

Win/win

If the industry as a whole is not for them they need to recognize that and find what makes them happy.

 

[VinnyBulbarino]

Like anything in life I guess, too much of something tends to lead to boredom, even pussy

It’s the truth. Someone on another thread said “this hobby is like heroine, except with pussy and tits” and it’s true.

 

[Jumpin’ Jack Flash]

The three roads to ruin are gambling golf and women. Gambling being the quickest. Golf the surest and women the most pleasurable

 

[sinistarglobal]

I think the level to which they are ok with or hate their job depends on the level of service. Girls who set their limits (HJ and topless only) seem to be cheerful and last a long time in this industry. And that could be viewed as a more "fulfilling" job than chopping meat on a conveyor belt or packing cardboard boxes in an alibaba fulfilment center in China.

It's when things get darker, and they are encouraged/coerced to include sex as part of their menu even though they may not want to, that's what could lead to them hating the job.

If it is coercion I agree with you 100 percent. However, some of the happiest ladies I have met have been in the holistic realm TBH. They have done this for many years, often in very well establishes places, often setting their own hours. A couple have left places that were too restrictive with hours to find places more flexible. This just sounds like a good work environment to me. Honestly the fact that they fuck for a living and it wrong is purely a social construct. Nothing more or less.