Chat Jokes please

[loves to lick]

 

[loves to lick]

 

[loves to lick]

 

[loves to lick]

 

[loves to lick]

 

[Ninersfan]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

Which washroom should i use?

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cali99]

A man is having problems with his Johnson which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your dick is burned out; you only have 30 erections left in your penis."

The man walks home (deeply depressed); his wife is already expecting him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list!"

He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it."

Ha ha

 

[BmH6769]

 

[BmH6769]

 

[loves to lick]

 

[Buaya]

After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, "Screw it, soldier on!"



The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

 

[Buaya]

---

At the Saturday morning service the rabbi announced that he was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wanted him to leave, because he is so popular.

Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Venice and Sarasota, stands up and proclaims: "If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda minivan to transport their children!" The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says: "If the rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children!" More sighs and loud applause.

Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile: "If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex." There is total silence.

The Rabbi, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Rubin, you're a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?”

Estelle's 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:

"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said: 'FUCK him'

 

[Buaya]

Boudreaux worked in a pickle factory.

For many years he had a powerful desire
to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

Unable to stand it any longer, he sought
professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up.
He advised Boudreaux to go ahead and do it or he
would probably never have any peace of mind.

The next day he came home from work very early.
His wife, Marie, became alarmed and wanted to
know what had happened. Boudreaux tearfully
confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis
in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that
today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was
immediately fired.

Marie gasped and ran over to her husband.
She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts
only to find a normal, completely intact penis.

She looked up and said, "I don't understand.
What about the pickle slicer?"

Boudreaux replied, "I think she got fired, too."

 

[loves to lick]