just a few questions. am the one that got screwed, thanks for making me realise.

[SnakeHissperer]

2 years to get a TG to Oz? 555.... It can be done in 2 months. From a thread by BM Condo:

I met her on the 15th November and had her in Australia on the 8th February, Not bad just over 2 months.

That is from this thread: http://www.phuket-info.com/forums/relationships-thai-girls-bargirls/33283-3-months-gone-quickly.html

On this and other of his threads, Condo explains in detail how he met a TG on a 2 week vacation, had her in Oz 2 months later. Then got her an extension to the visa, then got her a marriage visa, married her, etc. It is all there in detail about how he did it, each step of the way, as he was going through it.

 

[wendy c]

Was in the place once also, thinking I was lucky I found an honest girl who wasn't after the money.
Only to find out she didn't need my money cause another dude was sponsoring her big time.
Not saying this is the case with you, but check, and double check and don't let her know you're checking on her.

 

[Dean]

If you truly love her whatever she is asking... DOUBLE IT... and make sure she gets it ASAP. The girl is clearly in a dire situation!

 

[brendan y.]

No not really.
Visa applications are easy to get,just go to aus immigration website and you will find all application forms there.
Marrying her in Thailand to get an easy entry into aus.? Novel idea, good luck with that, probably not thougt of before.

 

[Jon K]

Funny you should mention that...

Just last night my girlfriend and I and her mom and dad sat down to a nice meal. papa and I ate tom yam goong while she and her mother ate this foul smelling soup with bits of trees, green stuff, rotten fish juice and a handful of beetles on top for extra good flavour. As she serves it she says "Isaan food"! with a big beaming smile. As I ate I had to fight the urge to retch whenever the smell of the rotten fish beetle soup wafted over. Enchanting?


NOT!:gasp:

 

[Nnifer]

Some bloke on TV has a great signature:-

Pit-bulls and bargirls........."but, my ones different".

 

[yotu]

1. if a thai swears on buddha does that mean anything at all?
It depends on the Thai person, to some it would be solemn oath, to some it would mean nothing. Influences on this would be, where you meet her, how long she has been working/away from home.

2. where would the best place to meet a thai girl, that's not just after your money?
Anywhere, not even all bar girls are just after money. Bottom line is SISO, Shit In Shit Out - if your are a twat, don't expect any chick, Thai or not to love you for yourself, cos, er, basically you're still a twat, abroad.

3. does meeting a family mean anything?
See the answer to number 1.

4. what is the decent thing to do when staying with their family, what is expected of you?

You are expected to be generous but not stupid, if you feel there are unreasonable demands, decline them and conclude that your girl has been less than sincere.

5. so you say if they really wont to be with you shouldn't have to give any money at all?

Most of the girls come from poor families and there is no social infrastrucutre, pension schemes, dole money etc so if you are with a girl from humble roots, then money will always be an issue for you to address.

6. should i even bother trying to get a thai girl friend if i can't get them out of the country quickly? I believe it takes a 2 year relationship to able to get a thai into Australia.

Up to you.

Summary: Many guys who have a bad experience with bar girls have a very negative attitude to them all and throw up a huge wall, often exemplified by the weariness and prejudice you have seen in some answers already. This is often passed on as expertise but is actually pain that they have no dealt with so they just deflect it onto the girls, like it's their fault.

I have had two long term relationships that were brilliant and few skirmishes that were not and a few that cost me a few quid to find out. However I am still here after 14 years and still think that the Thai female carries her burdon with an amazing dignity. Learn Thai and a whole other world of understanding opens up to you. Until then trust your instincts, if she feels like a wrong 'un, you are probably right,

For every bad story there are ten couples living over the other side of the island in places like Chalong and Rawai who started off as punter and bar girl and who have been happily married for years and raised a family etc.

Thai people as whole do not travel well though so if you want to make a future with a Thai girl, try to make it here.

 

[Pompal 09.]

Well, if they did not last, how brilliant could thry have been, really? Something must have gone awry.

I agree, except to say that you have got the numbers in reverse.

 

[Stirfry0]

how did you manage to check that out? the only way you could do that is to see her bank statements.

 

[LuYengpo]

so how much should i really be sending her? i'll drop it to that price and see if she stays with me.

 

[??yl?]

a bit harsh . . . haven't we all had 'brilliant relationships'? - I have, but they always seem to have a 'use-by-date'; time to move on.



we need a proper census . . . agree it's a different world here in Chalong - plenty of good people drift south eventually and settle round here, there seems a good perceneforum.xxxe of 10yr-plus folk living here and mostly they'll tell me they started off on the other coast.

and from Minder's post:

interested in further comment on this, as New Year's it's my intention to look them over, not the reverse! Once had an ok gf, met some of her family socially over lunch at Rawai - they reminded me of the Thai version of the Addams Family dressed as gypsies, some kind of freak show - was tempted to hire a longtail and just say 'go, go fast - anywhere', but ended things more politely.

 

[dickatool]

No money just encouragement and love.

Then you will find out.

 

[I demand a recount]

how did you find out in the end?

 

[supersetter1989]

thanks this is good, some real information.

 

[Neo Draven]

He came across my phone number and called me, I can tell you it was a big shock for the both of us.
If not like that sooner or later it had to come out.

Anyway, that's all history now and everything is cool. Actually it is quite a long story.
Turns out that she actually did love me but the family was pushing her towards the other guy to settle mama's debts.

After some thinking I decided to go on with her, made my gf to give back all the expensive gifts she got from him.
She is no longer my gf, but wife now (after first divorcing the other guy) and in a few months she will be staying with with me in Belgium.
Our relationship actually got stronger because of all the crap we went through.

 

[Pompal 09.]

alright you were al right. am not going to say how but i caught her thank god i didn't build a house with her.
Bar managers i apologise looks like am coming to phuket in april.
have myself a great holiday.
prehaps talk to that girl i met last time at restraunt she seemed shy and cute and the main thing...she wasn't a bargirl.
**** i would never of thought this bargirl would be so stupid.
oh well life goes on, many more fish in the sea.
thanks for being that little thing in my head saying your an idiot.

 

[Jena]

From my experience and the girls I know, they seems to be happy. Last few years I had many girls who met a boyfriend, moved to Australia etc. and is now married, got pregnant, got kids etc and are still together.

I think you tend to hear more about the bad stories than the good ones, people involved with bad stories complain (on forums etc) while the good ones are just happy with their lives.

Among the group of bad stories, its often people who refuse to see the bad signs (Thats others said long time before it was a failure) etc. Simplified, if a girl has no interest in you or continue lie/cheat you, why still go after her? Dont be surprised if the same girl is a disappointment later on down the lane. I also think the bigger the age gap its more problems, not always ofcourse.

Another test is money wise, do she want to stay with you if you dont provide silly amounts of money each month? A girl that accept less and smaller amounts of money (as she likes you) is more likely to last in my opinion. She stay with you and not in for the (big) money.

 

[ima90sbaby]

Ahh that's great, you escaped with little or no damage. Chalk it up to experience. Have a great time on your next visit.

 

[ShouldaKnownBetter]

Wow, some very wise words, were you on the water tonight.......555

 

[Tamprio]

No, chalk it up to BM's experience.

My guess is that a "pay cut" was proposed and she reacted by showing her true colours.