just a few questions. am the one that got screwed, thanks for making me realise.

[jim jim the dog faced boy]

not necessarily but it does mean she sees you as a prospect

It would be pretty "newsworthy" in the village and could cause loss of face if a TG bought home more than a handful of prospects in a lifetime...so I hope that gives some context

 

[ten]

For the casual tourist.. It makes no difference..

The motivators are the same.. The thinking is the same.. The cultural differences are the same.

Understand the above issues first before you have a hope of a successful long term relationship.

Personally I think theres plenty of girls in the bar scene that would make fine partners, and plenty non BG's that would be scheming gold diggers. But they dont have a brand to tell them apart.

 

[Trendy]

Well i guess its a good thing I never paid for her. i didn't meet her in a bar, she told me told me she was a bar girl after we went to dinner the day i met her, i hadn't slept with her at that seforum.xxxe infact i did not sleep with her until i met her perants all the way in suphanburi 1 hour outside of bangkok. she was on her period at the time i met her, i offered to bye her from the bar so she could visit her family and her child of 4 months.
all i said was she was a bar girl never said i paid to sleep with her.

she told me of how her ex thai boyfriend had got her pregnat and left her so she was forced to work bar.
when i had seen the family situation which was some what a shock to me, i offered pay for her to stay away from bar so she could be with her family.
i told her she never had to sleep with me or be with me , but she said she had fallen in love with me and things went from there. she actually wants to stay in thailand and i want to live there as well, I assumed if i could get her a visa, she and i could work here for a while so we could make enough money to do so. but am not going to rush into marring her to do that because she is 19, just looking at the options for the future. what i do for a job is my bussiness and really so is all this information that am talking about.

what your wife of a some what 5 years older than you did to you does not correspond to my situation obviously there a differences. Am sorry for you she had an hidden aggendas. hopefully you'll find someone that is more genuine in the future, my girlfriend is attractive to me but not so to a lot of my friends and people on this forum, am not interested in parrading her around in australia like you seem to somewhat think. all in all same same but totally different.

 

[smoney77]

Thankyou. It's a minefield, I see her as a 'prospect' too and this is part of my field research. Her marriage was 13yrs - there is a lot of concern from her as to the family reaction to me, now this is making me edgy as could be a b disaster if they are anti the whole farang-in-the-family concept. I won't book the return trip in case I need a quick exit - "just popping out for some smokes dear"
what did the guy say on Scott's Antarctic trip? Something like 'i could be a while' ? when he exited the tent. I'll keep it in mind!

 

[Adnan Sallam]

I know that you have stated you would not say, but just exactly what did you catch her doing??... and removing the rose tinted BLINDERS, what did you seriously expect!

Where you seriously sending 16kbht p/m to a girl that you didn't really know (what was the game plan? sorry i'm not going to re-read the thread). I'm not saying it can't work... but, you really need to be as aware as possible to the reality of the situation!

Just cos she doesn't work in a bar doesn't mean she's not on the game! If thats the case is it really INFIDELITY???

 

[Wassim Elia]

We have read and replied to 3 pages of advice for you, the very least you can do is give us the gory details of how you caught her out. It will act as advice for others, maybe even myself, as i am madly in love with a bg who I stayed with for 3 days, and who I know loves me and wants only me, and will never go with another man ever again.
I know that because everytime the photographer went to bar, she was not at work, she had decided to be faithful to me. :rofl:

 

[Dean]

Well they aint rocket scientists..

Thing is shes just playing the odds, in case you vanish.. which you now are..

Do not expect honesty. At least not initially, Maybe not ever in the way we understand it.

 

[Steveman3014]

Read this page of the thread and I think you will find what you are looking for.:he:

 

[Annorax]

And the monthly sponsorship and house building is what exactly ??

Wood for trees.. :rules:

 

[Sax Man]

Doh, how stupid am I. Nearly as stupid as giving out the e mail and password. :

Really when you think about it, and being serious here, are people that gullable that after just a short period with a bg they would fall for them. I know the one I was with was nice and fun, but FFS there is no way I would consder that within 5 minutes of leaving the Ex Pat on the day I left she was not with somewbody else or at least wanting to be with somebody else.

Different if you were to go back and spend a longer period , say weeks or month, then at least you might be abloe to get a miniscule indsight into their workings, FFS Western women are bad enough anfd they have same culture, I am married for 27 years and still cannot make head nor tail of her, what chance someone from another culture. :

If i was to go back tomorrow I would look up last one maybe if she not there move on, there are heaps more to get hung up on. :

 

[Summer099]

from thailand fever


quote
"it is a very serious matter when your thai gf takes you to see her parents. she is announcing to the world that you are going to be the one to love and support her (and her family) for the rest of your lives. implicitly, she also announcing that you and she are now (or soon will be) sleeping together as a couple.

From a western perspective, it's almost as if she is proposing to you.
to think of it in a slightly more thai way, it's as if you have come to her parents permission to marry her"

so i really think it is a big deal for her to introduce you to the family, if after 1 or 2 introductions she hasn't finally snagged her man, then the she will be looked down on (lose face) and will be questioned, "why can't you get/keep a good man"
so that is why most girls are reluctant to invite farangs to the baan, in short they are scared they will lose face if you are not the one.

 

[Neil g]

Very true SB..

When I really didnt want a GF.. And then for the first 2 years of pushing her away, making her keep a room, telling her I wasnt going to be with one person, and acting like an ass to her.. I realised I had one again !!

 

[Jack A]

i messaged her saying i would never send money again can't even get in contact with her now.

 

[pinkprincess]

well i send her 16,000 a month do you think thats enough am also going to pay for house to be built, i offered. she's 19 am 24.

 

[BilligCialis]

At least you know how she really feels mate... the good ones won't require any money from you and will be strangely more reliable long term... don't try too hard and your reward will come... meanwhile, think of the money you have saved! :

 

[Divide et Impera]

I never understood this, how was she forced to work in a bar because her ex-boyfriend left? Whats wrong with working a normal job?

 

[blackroses4uever]

Damn! Another one wriggles off the hook.

 

[Arslan]

Yup she is using the bury head in sand now I have been caught senario. She is gone, some other poor prat is getting caught. So how much did you finish up sending.

 

[twisted_christer]

yeah it would be interesting to hear how much dosh in total was invested

good point. 16k is like 4 bangkok nurses salaries. sickening that this h00ker was getting all that for doing absolutely sweet FA. good points about the issan family. my ex's was 100% exactly the same as you described, in fact item by item was the same (drinking collected rain water etc). they had 2 outgoings, 1 was electric which was a few 100 baht a month and the other was the waste disposal. other than that, they didnt have to spend a penny other than on the line items you described. seeing it with your own eyes made you think... ****, so whats this 10k per month we sending going on, considering that they managed to save NOTHING out of it or invest none of it... oh yeah, it would be that 450,000 baht silver truck her brother bought, oh and that debt on the land that was accumulated through her brothers wedding. great idea, sell the land to pay for a 'lavish' wedding, daughter will pay it back, somehow... but no, moma and papa are the best people in the world and should be worshiped for treating daughter like a piece of cattle.

why not go somewhere else for a change? try patts, that'll make you forget your old BG and this restaurant girl too in a jiffy 555555. everyone should go at least once in their life




not that it matters, good that you got rid of her... but TG's, especially BG's all consider themselves single until they are married, as LIL has already said, they keep their options open until the end (yet as we know most of them still consider themselves single after they're married as well when knocking about with other farangs when in farangland or the local thai bad boy when still in thailand 5555). dont let that worry you though, you're free!!!



i like the sound of that. good tip

 

[my my metrocard]

The truth shall set you free.

There are 4 words that people hate to hear.

I told you so...............

Fair play for coming back and telling us. You could have just sloped off or started a new account.